5 - MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE ( MUST READ )











































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                5 - MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE � 








































             

































              



































Lesson
1:


��� A man is getting into the shower just
as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

��� The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

��� Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give 
you $800
to drop that towel, "


��� After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel 
and
stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and
leaves.

��� The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back 
upstairs.

��� When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 
"Who
was that?"

��� "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she 
replies.

��� "Great," the husband says, "did he say
anything about the $800 he owes me?"





��� Moral of the story

���� If you share critical information pertaining 
to credit
and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.


*********

��� Lesson 2:



��� A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed 
her
legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

��� The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

��� The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he 
let his
hand slide up her leg again.

��� The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm
129?"

��� The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh 
is
weak."


��� Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and 
went on
her way.

��� On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to 
look up
Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."



��� Moral of the story

���� If you are not well informed in your job, you 
might
miss a great opportunity.



*********

��� Lesson 3:


��� A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager 
are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes out.

��� The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just 
one
wish."

��� "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.

"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the
world."

��� Puff!� She's gone.

��� "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. 
"I
want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

��� Puff! He's gone.


��� "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the 
manager.

��� The manager says, "I want those two back in the 
office
after lunch."



��� Moral of the story


���� Always let your boss have the first say.


*********

��� Lesson 4:


��� An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. 
A
small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?"

��� The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."


��� So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and 
rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.



��� Moral of the story

���� To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be 
sitting
very, very high up.


*********

��� Lesson 5:



��� A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love 
to be
able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I
haven't got the energy."

��� "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull.


They're packed with nutrients."

��� The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it 
actually
gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

��� The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached 
the
second branch. 

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.



��� Moral of the story


���� BullShit might get you to the top, but it 
won't keep
you there.


*********

��� Lesson 6:


��� A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was 
so cold
the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there
in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. 

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and
soon began to sing for joy.


��� A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate.

��� Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under 
the
pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.



��� Morals of this story

���� (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your 
enemy.

���� (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is 
your
friend.


���� (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's 
best to keep
your mouth shut! 


*********


















































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