Hi Barbara.
Article:
--------
Page 5 top PP in Overview section: ... this tool takes an XML manifest
file as input...
Page 7: "System Requirements" section: running as root has nothing to do
with requiring OpenSolaris 2008.11. I would move that to a fifth
requirement:
Root access: You must run the distribution constructor as root
Page 9: Grammar is incorrect at the top of the page. One way to fix is
to change "Editing" to "Edit", "Customizing" to "Customize" and
"Creating" to "Create"
Page 10: extra > in pkg_repo_default_authority (I think you said this
will go away..)
Page 11:
first bullet under build_area: The sentence "The <build_area> is
specified in the manifest file." is redundant and can be removed.
Second and fourth paragraphs of "key_value_pairs" section says ‐
instead of a "-".
Page 12: Nit: grub_setup bullet: remove the "for all types of images"
Page 13: last bullet: Rather than say the five arguments "do not
display" in the manifest file, I would say "are not included as entries"
in the manifest file.
Page 18:
1st PP in text of example 2-4: First sentence may be cleaner to say:
"When a particular package is specified...."
Top of code of example 2-4: saying 5 args are passed in by default from
the DC may be confusing, since there are six args passed into this
particular script. I would remove that line. I would also add a line
below "# MEDIA_DIR: ..." to describe the sixth arg: This could be
something like:
# PKG_NAMES: Package to replace with one from the test repo.
Page 20: Indentation of example 2-5 code is different than that of
example 2-4 code.
Page 22: In example 2-5 code, the following line:
if [ $? != ?0? ] ; then
should be:
if [ $? != "0" ] ; then
Page 23: 2nd sentence in the note under build -l: It may be clearer to
say "Step values other than the first one correspond to finalizer script
entries in the manifest file."
Page 25, example 2-6 item 1. Add a sentence which says: "This example
shows that the build can be resumed from all checkpoints except the last
two."
I didn't check the manifest file.
Manpage:
--------
Description:
First sentence: uses -> users
Item 1: The OS has to be installed first. Please change the order:
"Install the OpenSolaris operating system. Install the SUNWdistro-const
package and the packages it depends on."
Example 1: item 1:
Add a sentence which says: "This example shows that the build can be
resumed from all checkpoints except the last two."
(No this is not dejavu...)
Thanks,
Jack
On 11/12/08 16:12, Barbara.Lundquist at Sun.COM wrote:
> Jack and Karen,
>
> Here's a final (?) draft of the DC documents.
> I still need to add the latest manifest file.
>
> DC article:
> http://opensolaris.org/os/project/caiman/files/DistroConst.pdf
>
> DC man page:
> http://opensolaris.org/os/project/caiman/files/distro_const.1m.txt
>
> I can make some final edits tomorrow prior to delivery Friday morning.
>
> Barbara
>
> _______________________________________________
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> caiman-discuss at opensolaris.org
> http://mail.opensolaris.org/mailman/listinfo/caiman-discuss
>
