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New Number 
A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A billing 
service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called 
to complain, she was told to get a new number. 

"I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't you change yours?" 

The company refused, so she said, "Fine. From now on, I'm going to tell 
everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full." 

The company got a new number the next day. 



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Late for Work 
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot. 

He had never missed a day and was never late. 

Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's 
arrival, it caused a sensation. 

All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came 
out into the corridor. 

Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face 
scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. 

He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all 
eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the 
subway. Nearly killed myself." 

The boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire 
hour?" 



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Listening 
The teacher, during an English lesson, asked her students: "Now tell me, what 
do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer 
interested?" 

Little Johnny, in the back row, raised his hand. 

"Yes, Johnny," said the teacher 

"A teacher!" 

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