<~*~><~*~>< Humor-Exprezz
<~*~><~*~>< You are subscribed to Humor-Exprezz because of a request from you or someone impersonating your email address. If you would rather NOT be subscribed, you can send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the email address you subscribed with. Heartburn? Sample and Information Do you have heartburn? Click here for free samples and information! http://mocda3.com/1/c/61479/90261/363991/363991 <a href="http://mocda3.com/1/c/61479/90261/363991/363991";> AOL users go here </a> The Asylum Gutter Jokes Got your mind in the Gutter? well our editors Misty & Nunizo Want the most gutterly jokes and other garbage? And are you over 18? Not easy to offend? Set your mind on gutter mode and send a blank e-mail to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Yes of course its free!! <~*~><~*~> In The News <~*~><~*~> A Florida man who swung an alligator at his girlfriend during an argument was sentenced to six months in jail. Sheriff's officials said Davis Ballenger was keeping the 3-foot gator in his bathtub and swung it at his girlfriend during an argument in July. The lady friend told investigators that Ballenger beat her up then grabbed the gator and swung it at her as she tried to escape. The gator struck her at least once, after which time Ballenger threw empty beer bottles at her and then kicked her out of their mobile home. The alligator was later released into the St. Johns Wildlife Center, officials said. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Will Your Retirement Income Be Enough? Retire With Cash Flow. Click for info about a 9% guaranteed 1st year return. http://mocda2.com/1/c/61479/183457/363991/363991 <a href="http://mocda2.com/1/c/61479/183457/363991/363991";> AOL users go here </a> Try some of these... If you are into JoKiN', try JuSt JoKiN' byTAC all jokes included. [EMAIL PROTECTED] If you like ToOnZ and pix of the day try... [EMAIL PROTECTED] If you like Adult ToOnZ and pix of the day try... [EMAIL PROTECTED] If you like animals then this is the page for you... [EMAIL PROTECTED] If you are into PSP and tags give us a try... [EMAIL PROTECTED] If you love Garfield and his antics join us here... [EMAIL PROTECTED] <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Today's Toons: Road Work http://www.wtv-zone.com/dlamrx/Cartoons2/Road-Work.gif Flying Low <a href=" http://www.squirtsplace.com/funnypics/flyinglow.jpg "> aol</a> Jokeworm Pics <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/newcleanpics/ "> click</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Did Ya Know Or Do Ya Care? Procter & Gamble launched Tide, the first detergent specifically for clothes, to clean military uniforms in 1945 during World War Two. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Today's Links: Roads End <a href=" http://www.delemos.net/roadsend/ " >mustard >\</a> dMarieTimeCapsule <a href=" http://www.dmarie.com/timecap/ " >time </a> Getting old <a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke69g.html ">aol link</a> Senseless musings <a href=" http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jokes/joke70g.html ">aol link</a> Jokeworm Jokes <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/cleanjokes/ "> click</a> Jokeworm Trivia <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/trivia/ "> click</a> <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> You can not put plastic in the dishwasher, metal in the microwave or utensils in the garbage disposal. There are just so many rules in the kitchen that it's just safer to eat out. <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Early in the marriage, Bertha, the wife's lifelong friend, came to dinner. During the course of the meal, she broke a fork in half. "Don't worry about it, Bertha," said the husband. "It's just a cheap set." The wife turned to the husband and announced, "Honey, Bertha gave us that set as a wedding gift!" <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> http://www.humor-exprezz.com <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Musings... I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich." What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? They told me I was gullible -- and I believed them. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. What if there were no hypothetical questions? One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. How can there be self-help "groups"? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" The speed of time is one second per second. Is it possible to be totally partial? What's another word for thesaurus? If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one. ( Thanks, *LaVonne* <~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~><~*~> Humor-Exprezz may contain links to sites on the Internet which are owned and operated by third parties. We are not responsible for the availability of, and/or the content located on or through, any such third-party sites. All Content � By their Creators. Subscribe address.. [EMAIL PROTECTED] Unsub address ... [EMAIL PROTECTED] (`'�.�(`'�.� �.�'�) �.�'�) ��HumorExprezz`� (�.�'�(�.�'� `'�.�)`' �.�) �.�� ( `�.� `�.� ) �.�)� (.�� `*. *. 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