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Hi Jill!
It's good to hear from you. I'm sure things are very busy right now
with your return to work. Having twins myself, I know how hard it is when
YOU are the ONLY one who can settle them! I think you've figured out your
problem already!
"since I started about a month
ago and have found the boys to be extra clingy?!"
It sounds like your boys are just trying to sort out this transition.
First, I would reassure myself that they are in the best day care situation
while you are gone. If you're confidant that the day care itself is not
the problem, then it's probably just taking your boys some time to get used
to you being gone some of the time. Since they are probably feeling a
little insecure right now, give them lots and lots of extra attention during the
day time hours.
For night times, have you tired just letting them cry for a bit?
Will they cry for 15 minutes and settle themselves, or will they cry for "hours
and hours"? If you haven't tried letting them cry, then you might just try
it and see if they cry for a bit and settle, or if they cry and work themselves
up and really get going.
Since they have been such great (you lucky dog!) sleepers, they will
probably return to their normal sleep pattern with a little time and a little
help. Now, how to get there? I think there are a couple of
approaches.
You can choose to help them settle each time they wake up and trust
that eventually they will have the reassurance that you are there for
them and return to normal sleep patterns. Or, you can choose to let
them "cry it out." Essentially with that method, you let the child
cry. You go in periodically to reassure yourself, and them, that they are
OK, but you do not get them out of bed or have much physical contact with
them. The first night can take a long time with lots of crying.
Each night, it takes less and less time for the child to settle. The
advantage to this method is that the child learns to find a way to comfort
themselves into sleep, so if they wake in the night, they do not need
Mommy, or a bottle, or a soother to settle themselves back to
sleep.
This method is very, very hard! If you think about doing it, think
about it carefully because it's best if you stick with it - there is NO sense in
letting your child cry for an hour only to have you give in and get them up
for a cuddle at that point. So if you cannot do it, don't start
it. It is NOT a method for every child or every parent. I have three
children and I would never do it with two of them, but I have done it with the
third. Two of my children are great sleepers and if they are awake in the
night, I know something is wrong. My third is a terrible sleeper.
She needed this method to actually LEARN how to sleep.
From your email, I can't really tell if your children are good
candidates for this method. I would consider this method if you feel that
your children are losing their ability to settle themselves to sleep.
If you feel like they just need some temporary reassurance from you and will
eventually settle themselves again, it might be best not to put yourself through
this!!
In terms of the twin issues - do you feel that they are both waking up on
their own? would one sleep well but his brother is waking him up and
he can't re-settle? I guess what I'm getting at is should you separate
them temporarily to see if one or both would sleep better if they didn't have
each other waking them? If you decided to try the crying it out idea, I
would leave both of them together if your intentions are to keep them together
in the future. It will be hard on them, and you, because they'll be
keeping each other awake and may wind each other up. But in the long run,
they need to learn to settle themselves to sleep in a shared room, so I would
keep them together and batten down the hatches for a few rough nights.
HTH
Martha
---Mom to Hayley (6) and Rachel and Sam (3) You are currently subscribed to canada as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] --- You are currently subscribed to canada as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
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