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October 11, 2004
Encouragement for Today 

The Outlaw
Micca Campbell, Director of Outreach with Proverbs 31 Ministries,
Speaker Team Member, Certified Speaker

Key verse: 

Colossian 3:12-13, "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved,
put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;
bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a
complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must
do." (NKJV)


Devotion:

Struggles with my mother-in-law began right after my engagement to her
son. Our first disagreement came when my mother in law informed me that
my flower girl, who was her granddaughter, couldn't wear what I had
chosen. If I didn't change it to her satisfaction then her granddaughter
wouldn't be in the wedding. My soon to be niece, didn't care if she
walked down the isle in pink poke-a-dots; she simply desired to be in
the ceremony. For her sake, I agreed to change the dress. That, of
course, met the approval of future my mother in law.

After our wedding, it was smooth sailing for a while. Then the holidays
arrived and it was no party. We tried to find a compromise that made
everyone happy. No one wanted to change his or her customs so we decided
to alternate the holidays. My husband won the toss. When I was told that
the celebration began bright and early Christmas morning at my in laws,
this created a problem for me. Before I remarried, I was a widow with a
four-year-old son. I felt that he needed to be home Christmas morning so
that our new family could start our own holiday tradition. My mother
understood this. Why didn't my mother in law? I learned quickly. You
can't make everyone happy.

It didn't end at the holidays. The battle of our wills continued for
years. It wasn't that either of our ideas about life was wrong, just
different and it saddened me. I never wanted this kind of relationship
with my mother in law. I truly felt like an out law instead of a
daughter in law. I longed to fit in, to please her and be her friend,
but we continued not to see eye to eye. Even worse, my husband was
caught between the two of us and the strain began to damage our
relationship as well.

As a Christian, I knew what had to be done. Someone had to mend the
relationship. It wasn't going to be me. I chose to ignore my convictions
and hold on to my rights. 

The Holy Sprit persisted. Soon, I couldn't eat, sleep, or do my daily
activities without thinking about our broken relationship. 

One day, at Bible study, I raised my hand to ask for prayer about my
situation. Suddenly, I began to cry so hard I couldn't speak. A mentor
in the class walked me out into the hall. I explained everything. Then
came her piercing words. "You are disobeying God. He is clearing calling
you to reconcile this relationship. If I were you, I'd go today." 

I left immediately and drove to my mother in law's house. As I pulled
into her driveway, I prayed. "God, I'm here out of obedience to you. I
don't know how my mother in law is going to respond, but I trust that
you have sent me."

Without hesitation, I came straight to the point. I told my mother in
law that I wanted to have a better relationship with her. That I was
hurt over the one we had, and I knew she was hurt, too. She began to
cry. I confessed that I was a strong woman with strong opinions, and she
admitted the same. I could feel God melting away the resentment. Then I
spoke these challenging words. "The only way two strong women can have a
healthy relationship is to respect and accept each other's differences."
She agreed. 

>From that day on we have learned to consider the other's point of view
instead of only looking at our own. Respect for one another has allowed
our relationship to grow and compromises to be easily achieved. We are
all happy now-my mother in law, my husband and me. Oh, yeah, and God,
too, whose love we reflect to the world when we walk rightly related
with one another. 


My prayer for today: 

Dear Lord, someone in my family has hurt my feelings. I'm tired of
carrying this resentment so as an act of obedience to you, I forgive
them. Please forgive me for holding a grudge against them as well. Now,
Lord, heal our hearts and mend our relationship so that we can glorify
you. Amen.


Application steps:  

Freedom is not doing as you please, but freedom is the power to do what
you should. By the power of God, go and reconcile any broken
relationship and freedom will be yours.


Reflection points:        

What has holding on to your anger achieved for you?

Has your anger hurt you or the other person more?

What's keeping you from forgiving the other person? 

Do you know that God's Word says He can't forgive us if we are not
willing to forgive others?


Power verses:  

Matthew 6: 14, 15, For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you; but if ye forgive not men their
trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (KJV)

John 13:14, 15, If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet;
ye also ought to wash one another's feet. (KJV)

John 13:34, A new commandment I give unto you that ye love one another,
as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. (KJV)

1 John 1:6,7, If we say that we have fellowship with Him and walk in
darkness, we lie, and do not have the truth; but if we walk in the
light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and
the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. (KJV)

Romans 12:21, Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.
(KJV)


Additional resources:  

Becoming a Woman Who Listens to God, by Sharon Jaynes
http://www.gospelcom.net/p31/resources/womanlistens.html

Radically Obedient, Radically Blessed, by Lysa Terkeurst
http://www.gospelcom.net/p31/resources/radical.html



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