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ROBERT X. CRINGELY                              http://www.infoworld.com
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Monday, November 1, 2004

ORACLE GIVES NO RAISE, GATES GETS NO PRAISE

By Robert X. Cringely(R)

Posted October 29, 2004 3:00 PM Pacific Time

The election madness will finally end on Tuesday (or get much worse,
depending on the need for recounts). Me, I'm casting my ballot and
setting up a lawn chair outside the polling place to watch the
fistfights. Whether you're Left, Right, or somewhere in the Muddle, I
urge you to vote early and often.

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Footing the Bill: Piles of mail poured in deriding my efforts to cut the
world's richest man some slack. Some readers correctly pointed out that
both I and my source (Forbes) had our numbers slightly askew: The Bill &
Melinda Gates Foundation has an endowment of $27 billion; so far they've
only given away a paltry $7.2 billion. Several Cringesters argued Sir
Gates' largesse was tainted because a) he made his Bill-ions selling
shoddy software using Machiavellian marketing strategies (true) and b)
he uses his foundation to foist Microsoft products onto its
beneficiaries (not true). Other readers opined that "Bill &" should be
lopped off the foundation's name, given that his Billness discovered
philanthropy only after he got hitched. I'm sure he's not the only guy
who got married and started giving (and giving, and giving).

Flush With Embarrassment: While we're in a corrective mood, an anonymous
reader pointed out that a recent InfoWorld headline (since corrected)
mentioned "e-voting sceptics" instead of "skeptics." Given the ugly turn
this election has taken, "septic" might have been more apt.

Consulting the Oracle: According to my spies, Oracle declared 2004 the
Year of the Consultant and, to celebrate, allegedly delayed annual
raises and promotions for consultants. Welcome to the Oracle family,
PeopleSoft employees! Please check your wallets at the door.

The Incontinent Continent: My recent item on RestroomsOnline.com
inspired reader Shelly U. to submit a real potty portal -- Australia's
National Public Toilet Map (toiletmap.gov.au). The site lets you plan
vacations around any of the 13,899 public facilities Down Under. Gotta
hand it to those Aussies -- they don't take the important stuff sitting
down.

Got hot tips or favorite bathroom graffiti? Send 'em to
[EMAIL PROTECTED] and you may snag a nifty bag.

Send tips to [EMAIL PROTECTED]


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