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MyFree.com's Women's Weekly - 11/15/04
Your Guide To Looking & Feeling Your Best!
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Table Of Contents:

1.  Tips To Help You Look And Feel Your Best - Makeup, Fashion, Health
2.  Bulletin Board - Quick Answers, Hot Topics, Tips & More!
3.  Offers From Names Women Trust
4.  Tell-A-Friend - Share The Wealth & Win!
5.  General Instructions - Join, Unjoin, Change E-Mail Address


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1.  Tips To Help You Look And Feel Your Best


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Meeting People -- 4 Common Rapport Building Mistakes

1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are Not

Do yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and the people you
spend time with. If you are not interested in the topic of
conversation, say so.  If possible change the subject or simply
postpone that particular conversation until another time.  Obviously
if there is a danger of offending the other person you will have to
less direct. In those situations it helps to find out right away what
the other person wants or expects from you.  Ask!  The conversation
will right away become very relevant to you and maintaining interest
is a lot easier.

2. Disliking The Other Person

If you do not like the person you are talking to it will come across
at some level. Ask yourself -- what could I like about this person?
This will help put you in a better frame of mind.  And look for things
you have in common by asking yourself - how is this person like me?
We all have something in common and commonality builds rapport. Look
for it and you will find it.  If you mechanically attempt to get
rapport with people while secretly disliking them you will never get
that deep rapport you are aiming for. In fact if your focus is on how
much you dislike the person you will not even want rapport and instead
you will be setting yourself up for conflict.

3. Wanting Rapport With Everyone You Meet

I made this mistake when I first learned advanced communication
skills.  All of a sudden, for the first time, I was able to get
rapport with anyone I met. So I did.  And I recommend you do the same
to a point. With one exception: There are some people you do not want
to be getting deep rapport with.  Take someone who is like a raging
bull with a deep resentment and hate for themselves and other people.
Do you really want to feel the same way? If you get deep rapport, you
will feel some of the same feelings.  While you may need to be
effective around such people keep your focus on your real goal. Deal
effectively with the individual and maintain your own emotional state
regardless of how upset the other person is.  Pay attention to your
emotional state when dealing with negative people, manipulative people
and others who will drain your energy. With these people, rely more on
the weakest element of rapport - words. And manage your body language
without following their lead.

4. Not Speaking Their Language

We all have one primary sense whether it be visual, auditory or
feelings based that dominates our perception of the world.  You need
to get good at spotting which modality other people use and match
their world to get rapport quickly and easily.  If someone is in a
visual mode their words will be dominated by words that express what
they see. For example, the car is red with a white soft top and a huge
back seat.  Whereas the auditory person describes the car in a
different way: it sounds like a lion roaring when you start the engine
and the CD player fills the car with deep, rich sounds that dance
around your ears.  Finally, the person most attuned to their feelings
notices the smooth soft sensation of the leather seats and the warm
firm feeling when they hold the steering wheel.  If you use the wrong
modality for the person you are talking to it makes it harder for him
to understand you. You have to work harder to get rapport.  And when
you speak to several people at once make sure you use visual, auditory
and feeling words to make sure you appeal to everyone.  Make a point
of paying attention to the dominant modality your friends and family
use. And you may have a breakthrough when you finally discover why you
are not getting deep rapport with some of them while more easily
getting along with other people.


2. Bulletin Board - Quick Answers to Questions, Hot Topic Discussions,
Tips and More!

Have a question you need answered quickly or tip of your own you'd
like to share?  Please use our bulletin board. It's a great place to
get fast answers and read suggestions from other women!
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Until next time,

Carole Libbe
Managing Editor

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3.  Offers From Names Women Trust

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DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to substitute for
informed medical advice.  You should not use this information to
diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with
a qualified health care provider.  MyFree.com LLC does not endorse any
of the treatments, medications, or products discussed herein.  You are
encouraged to consult your health care provider with any questions or
concerns you may have regarding your condition.



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