Ok, I gotta come out of lurk mode for this "Dinty H Buffie Show"...
First off, it was hysterical. I've never seen an episode of Buffy before,
but I figured it was similar to this... well, this masterpiece. :)
Second, I have NEVER had a worse headache than I've had after reading this.
Nope, this headache beats the one I had when our CSU/DSU was fried, the
Spectra servers went down, and our SQL Server machine's power supply died.
(All in a matter of hours)
<cf_advil>
-Vinny in NYC
</cf_advil>
-----Original Message-----
From: Todd Ashworth [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Thursday, May 24, 2001 5:29 PM
To: CF-Community
Subject: ****8**88***DINTY H"S BUFFIE SHOW!!1!!!***8***888***
With all this talk about buffy, I couldn't resist heh.
This is a story by everyone's favorite chat pal, Little Dinty H. It's a
little dated, but still amusing. This is PG-13 btw ;)
Oh .. and an extra muffin for anyone who gets the Vampire Hunter H reference
:)
DINTY H"S BUFFIE SHOW
J. GEILS; EVERY GENERASHUN THEIR IS A CHOSEN WON TO LET A VAMPIER
STICK HIS HOO HOO DILLY IN HER CHACHA, THE SLAYER.
WOLF; AAOOOOOOOOOO!111!!
CUT TO THE LIBRARIE...
WILLO; WEL IT SHUR IS A NICE DAY HEAR IN SUNNYDAIL!11!
ZANDER; YES AND IT IS A MIRAKEL THAT A VAMPIER HAS NOT KILLED US BECUZ
BUFFIE IS NOT DOING HER JOB!!11!!
BUFFIE; HEY THAT"S NOT FARE!!11!! I"M VERY UPSET ABOUT MY
BOYFREND!!11!!!
J. GEILS; WEL I"M VERY UPSET ABOUT MY GIRLFREND BUT YOU WOOD"NT NO
ANYTHING ABOUT THAT WOOD YOU BUFFY??//??
BUFFIE; STOP BEING SUCH MEAN WONS TO ME!!11!!! I HAVE TO GO TO
CLASS!!11!!
WILLO; YAH BUFFIE LET"S GO TO CLASS AND FORGET ABOWT THESE MEAN
WONS!!11!!!
CUT TO THE CLASS...
CORDEELIA; HEY YOU GUYS YOU WERE ALMOST LAET!!11!!
WILLO; YAH SORRIE ABOUT THAT.
TEECHER; EVERYWON PLEESE WELCOME OUR NEW STOODENT LITTEL DINTY H!!11!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; HELO LADIES YOU ARE ALL CUTE WONS!!1!!
ALL GIRLS; I WANT TO BE YOU"RE GIRLFREND!!111!!
BUFFIE; HE WILL BE MINE!!11!! O YES HE WILL BE MINE!!11!! HEY DINTY H
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A DATE WITH ME???//??
DINTY H THAT"S ME; WELL OK!!11!! WE CAN GO TO THE MOVIES AND SEE JON
CLOD VAN DAMB!!11!!
BUFFIE; OK I LIEK THAT IDEA!!111!!!
CUT TO OUTSIED THE MOVIE THEETER...
BUFFIE; THAT MOVIE WAS A GOOD WON!!11!! I CAN DO KARATIE TRICKS LIEK
THAT TOO!!1!!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; YAH WEL I CAN TOO!!1!!
BUFFIE; WOW YOU ARE A COOL WON!!1!! OK LET"S WALK HOME THRU THE
GRAVYARD!11!! OH NO HEAR COMES SOME MEAN WON VAMPIERS AND MY
BOYFREND!!!11!! WHAT WILL I DO I DO"NT WANT TO HURT HIM!!!1!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; THAT OK WATCH ME GO!!11!!
BUFFIE; WOW THOSE ARE NEET KARATIE FLIPS AND KICKS IN THE AIR YOU ARE
DOING!!1!! YOU ARE REELY KILLING THOSE VAMPIERS!!1!!
ANKEL; O CARP IT"S DINTY H!!!!1!!! YOWZA YOWZA I"M OUTTA HEAR!!!111!
BUFFIE; WOW DINTY THAT WAS GRATE!!1!! DO YOU WANT TO COME TO MY HOUSE
AND HAEV RELASHUNS?//??
DINTY H THAT"S ME; THANK YOU NO I HAEV MORALS YOU SLUTTY GIRL!11!!
ONESTLIE YOU ARE WORSE THAN THE SLUTTY NEW YORK GIRL ON DAWSIN"S
CREEK!11! BESIEDS I DO"NT WANT ANKEL"S VAMPIER STD!!1!!!
CUT TO THE LIBARIE...
CORDEELIA; WEL BUFFIE HOW WAS YOUR DATE WITH DINTY?//??
BUFFIE; IT WAS OK I GESS...HE HAS GOOD KARATIE TRICKS BUT HE WOOD"NT
PUT OUT!!1!!!
J. GEILS; WHAT A MINIT BUFFIE!!11!! DID YOU SAY DINTY???/?? DINTY
H??//? DO"NT YOU NO HOO HE IS??//??
WILLO; LOOK SOMEWON IS DOING A NIFTY FLIP THRU THE LIBRARIE
WINDOW!!11!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; YES I MUST ADMIT IT"S ME VAMPIER HUNTER H!11!!! BUT
MY FRIENDS CALL ME DINTY!!1!!
J. GEILS; ACORDING TO MY WASHER BOOKS DINTY IS HALF VAMPIER BECUZ HIS
MOTHER WAS A SLAYER WHO LET A VAMPIER PUT HIS HOO HOO DILLY IN HER
CHACHA.
DINTY H THAT"S ME; YES IT"S TRUE THATS WHY I HAET ALL MEAN WON
VAMPIERS EXCEPT FOR ELVIRA HOW ABOUT THOSE THINGIES??//??? HUBBA
HUBBA!!1!!!
CORDEELIA; THIS DINTY SHUR IS A CUTE WON AND HE SEEMS TO BE BETER THAN
BUFFIE!!1!!
BUFFIE; SHUT UP I JUST WANT MY BOYFREND!!11!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; WELL TOO BAD BECUZ I"M GOING TO STAKE HIM BUT NOT
THE WAY HE STAKED YOU IF YOU NO WAHT I MEEN!!1!! NUG NUDG WINK
WINK!!1!!
COMERSHUL BRAKE...
THIS WEEK ON THE DUBBA DUBBA DUBBA YOU BEE BE SURE TO WATCH UNHAPILY
EVER AFTER TO SEE IF BOBKAT GOLDTHWATE IS STILL WITHOUT SHAME. BUT THE
DOTTIR DOES HAVE NICE THINGIES!11!! THERE THAT"LL HOOK YOU IN!!1!1!
LEELOO; HELO I AM LEELOO AND I SAY TO BUY THIS MAKEUP BECUZ I USED TO
LOOK ALL WEERD WITH ORANGE HARE BUT NOW I LOOK LIEK A PRETTY WON!!!1!
CUT TO MEAN WON VAMPIER HIDEOUT
SPIEK; WELL HEAR WE SIT IN OUR HIDEOUT TRYING TO DEFEET BUFFIE!!1!!
ANKEL; YES SHE WAS A SOMEWHAT NCIE PEECE OF HIGHNIE BUT NOW I MUST
MAEK HER DYE!!!11!
DROOSHILA; SOMETIEMS I LIKE MOON PIES
SPIEK; HEY WHAT"S THAT SOUND??/?? SOMEWON"S COMING IN THE WINDO!!1!!
ANKEL; IT"S VAMPIER HUNTER H!!!!111!
ALL MEAN WON VAMPIERS; OH CARP!!11!! WE"RE OUTTA HEAR!!11!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!11!! HIGH KEEBA!111!! HEAR
COME THE STEAKS!!1!!!
SPIEK; OH CARP I HAVE BEN STAKED!!11!
DROOSHILA; OK DINTY DO"NT KILL ME!1!!! WE CAN HAEV RELASHUNS!!1!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; HEY DO YOU HAEV A FREND HOO LIVES IN DAWSINS"
CREEK? ANYWAY IF WE HAVE KIDS THEY WILL BE VAMPIERS BECUZ IT"S A
DOMINANT TRATE AND THIS IS CLEERLY THE CASE WHEN WE REGARD THE CHI
SQUAURE!!1!!1 SORRY I MUST STAKE YOU WITH MY WOOD NO NOT THAT
WOOD!!11!!
ANKEL; OK DINTY H I AM COMING FOR YOU!!1!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; OH YAH WEL I CAN USE A SORD TOO!!1!! BRING IT
ON!!11!
ANKEL; YOU"RE MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR FATHER!111!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; SHE TOLD ME ENUFF!11!1 SHE TOLD ME IT WAS A MEAN
WON VAMPIER AND THAT SHE KILLED HIM!11!!
ANKEL; NO DINTY!!1!!! I AM YOUR FATHER!!1!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; NO!!1!!! I"LL NEVER JOYN YOU!!1!!
ANKEL; YOU"RE WORIED ABOUT CORDEELIA?/?? WELL IF YOU WO"NT BECOME A
VAMPIER THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!!1!1
DINTY H THAT"S ME; NEVER!!11!!1 OK I STAKED YOU WITH THIS SORD THAT
WILL MAEK YOU DIE!!1!!
ANKEL; TELL BUFFIE YOU WERE RITE ABOUT ME!1!! I AM JUST A MEAN WON
VAMPIER!1!! OH NO I AM DED NOW!!11
DINTY H THAT"S ME; YES AND I"LL BEE LAFFING MY HEAD OFF WHEN YOU"RE
BURNING IN HELL!!1!! AS JON MAGLOCKLIN SAYS BYE BYE!!!!11!! NEXT
ISHOO!!1!!!
BACK IN THE LIBRARIE...
J. GEILS; GEE I WONDER WHEAR DINTY H IS?/?? I HOEP HE IS OK!1!!
BUFFIE; I HOEP MY BOYFREND IS OK!1!1
WILLO; YES I THINK I FOUND THE SPELL TO SAVE ANKEL IN THE MAJIK
CHATROOM!!1!! THEY ALSO SAY PENNY AND HORACE AER GOING TO ROOL THIS
YEAR!!11!!
ZANDER; HOO CARES ABOUT YOU"RE DUMDUM BOYFREND HE WILL PROBABLIE KILL
ME TONITE ANYWAY!11!
CORDEELIA; HEY LOOK HEAR COMES DINTY H THRU THE WINDO!!1!!
DINTY H THAT"S ME; YES I"M BACK AND DO"NT WORRY BUFFIE I KILLED ANKEL
AND ALL THE OTHER MEAN WON VAMPIERS!!1!!
BUFFIE; O NO!1!1!
J. GEILS; YES BUFFIE DINTY AND ZANDER HAEV BROT ME EVIDENS SHOWING
THAT YOU HAD INAPROPRIET RELASHUNSHIP WITH A MEAN WON VAMPIER!!1!!
BUFFIE; THIS IS A VAST VAMPIER BAT WING CONSPIRASIE TO SMEER MY GOOD
NAME!11!
J. GEILS; WELL THE HOUSE OF WASHERS HAS VOTED AND WE HAEV IMPEECHED
YOU AND WE ARE MAKING VAMPIER HUNTER H OUR NEW HUNTER!!!1!
BUFFIE; FIEN!11! BE MEAN WONS TO ME I WILL JUST RUN AWAY ON A BUS!11!!
ZANDER; YOU SHOOD"NT RUN ON A BUS YOU SHOOD SIT QUITLY AS NOT TO
DISTRUB THE OTHER PASENGERS!!1!! TALK ABOUT A RUDE WON!!11!
CORDEELIA; OH DINTY YOU ARE THE BEST DO YOU WANT TO HAEV A DATE WITH
ME??/??
DINTY H THAT"S ME; YES CORDEELIA THAT SOUNDS LOVLY!1!!1 WE CAN GO SEE
ZORRO!!1!1 I HOEP I GET TO SEKIND BASS TONITE BECUZ YOU HAEV
SKRUMPSHUS LUSHISS THINGIES!!1!!
CORDEELIA; I THINK YOU WILL!!1!!
EVERYWON; HOORAY FOR THE BEST VAMPIER HUNTER DINTY H!!11!!
PUPPET; ARGH GURR!!1!!
Todd
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