A 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body
part ncreases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until
little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders
a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and
tell the principal, and you'll get fired!" She then sat back down.

Mrs. Parks ignored her, and asked the question again, "Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell
open, and she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big
trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part
that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the
eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy." Then turned to Mary and continued, "As
for you, young lady, I have three things to say: First, you have a dirty
mind. Second, you didn't read your homework. And third, one day you are
going to be VERY, VERY disappointed."

*************************************************

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went
straight to her grandparents house to visit her 95 year old Grandmother and
comfort  her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
replied,

"He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old
having sex would  surely be asking for  trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced
age,  we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would
start to ring.

It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too
strenuous,  simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "and if the ^$&*$% ice
cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today".

*************************************************

...thank you, i'll be here all week, and please remember to tip your
waitresses.
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