Your dam joke about us southerners isn't dam funny. Guys
have gotten their lights put out for far less in these parts.
At 02:50 PM 9/17/2001 -0500, you wrote:
>Here's one for yore sweetheart:
>
>REDNECK LOVE POEM
>
>
>Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
>and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
>
>Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
>Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
>
>You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
>You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
>
>Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
>Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
>
>You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
>I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
>
>On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
>well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
>
>Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
>what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
>
>Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,
>to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.
>
>Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
>You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
>
>Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
>you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt .
>
>When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
>my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
>
>Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
>we go together like a skunk goes with stank.
>
>Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
>They git it at Wal-Mart, it's more romantic that way.
>
>Some men git roses on that oh-so-special day
>from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.
>
>Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
>"Diamonds are forever," they explain all suave and couth.
>
>But for this man, honey, these won't do.
>Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.
>
>I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
>more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
>
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