OK, you're right. This becomes clear when I dig a little deeper into the site :) then this is being circulated by people that don't realize this. Should I tell them, is the next question :) or just let them have their liittle bit of right-wing hysteria fun.
Dana On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 19:35:53 -0500, Michael Dinowitz <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Joke. Subdermal chips are not commonplace yet and the use of them has serious > religious issues with Christians. There's some reference to a mark on the > hand or the head that this can be linked to. > > > http://www.holyobserver.com/detail.php?isu=v01i11&art=techno-tithe > > > > Techno-Tithe: Church Implants Microchips in Members' Right Hands > > > > CROCKETT'S BLUFF, AR – In a startling collision of modern > > technology > > and ministry, Crockett's Bluff Community Church is the first known > > church in America to use Logitech's biochip technology to receive its > > weekly tithes and offerings. > > > > According to last year's church theme - "Be ID'd With CBCC in '03" - > > the congregation of 15,782 outfitted each member of its flock with a > > subdermal microchip in the right hand. The device, smaller than a > > mustard seed, contains the banking information of each worshipper and > > is scanned by an usher as he or she enters the sanctuary. > > > > Pastor Bud Caldwell readily admits news of the action is sure to send > > end times specialists scrambling to rewrite their works of > > eschatological punditry. "Oh there'll be a buzz for a while. > > Especially from the Van Impe's. Forgive me for saying this, but it > > doesn't take much for Rexella to get her prophetic panties in a bunch. > > If those two were halfway to heaven when credit cards came out, I can > > only imagine." > > > > According to Caldwell, CBCC's corps of greeters have arrived at a > > simple formula for deducting funds from each worshipper. "Ten percent > > off the top for tithe, obviously. When it comes to offering, we just > > let the Spirit lead. If that doesn't work, we try to see what kind of > > car they drive." > > > > Some church members were admittedly unnerved when Caldwelll cast the > > vision for the ambitious plan. Three years ago, Allison and Randy > > Peavey left their sputtering church of 1,500 in Little Rock to attend > > the suburban fellowship. Said 27 year old homemaker Allison, "I was > > really shocked, like, 'is my pastor Nicolae Carpathia or something?' > > But when Pastor Bud told us our contributions were still tax > > deductible, I was reassured." > > > > "I just figured anybody who runs a church this big has to know what > > he's doing," said Randy, a 42 year old CFO. "Besides, we prayed and > > felt a peace about it." > > > > Terry Whisnant, 32, is pragmatic about the whole thing. "I do all my > > banking online anyway. The chip is just another convenience for me - > > it's one less thing to think about at church. Besides, Jesus tells us > > when we give we shouldn't let the left hand know what the right hand > > is doing. I can't think of a more perfect application of that verse." > > > > Still, the 51-year-old pastor tries to alleviate the fears of > > newcomers, often employing lighthearted humor. "Before my message I > > ask the visitors to give us a "hand" in the work God is doing at CBCC. > > Get it? Hand..." > > > > What may not be a laughing matter to some newcomers at CBCC is the > > foyer fellowship policy. In the church's official welcome brochure, > > Visitors Pastor Hugh Dowd makes it clear that if you are not chipped, > > you cannot partake in post-service coffee and donuts. "There is a > > flipside however," said Dowd. "Once chipped, you not only get food and > > fellowship, but you also get a ten percent discount at our > > bookstore/Starbucks for a year." > > > > For his part, Lead Deacon Ralph Phillips is just happy to be getting > > home earlier on Sundays. "By not taking an offering, we're saving 20 > > minutes per service. Also, I don't have to count money afterwards. > > That's another half hour. Now I'm home for the 1 o'clock game. How > > 'bout them Cowboys!" > > > > Though he's sure to face a firestorm from pre-millennials, the affable > > Caldwell seems unfazed by the technology's semblance to what > > eschatologists such as Hal Lindsay and Chuck Missler refer to as the > > mark of the beast in Revelation 13. "Look, I'm a classic > > dispensationalist myself, but I see it as a win-win situation. We > > either continue at the cutting edge of contemporary ministry, or we > > trigger the rapture and bada bing, we're outta here, brother!" > > > > Dana > > > > -- > > ...they did not stop to think they died instead > > then shall the voice of liberty be mute?" > > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Special thanks to the CF Community Suite Gold Sponsor - CFHosting.net http://www.cfhosting.net Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:140401 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
