[] Corporate Lesson 1 > > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her > shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel > and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next > door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to > drop that towel." > After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in > front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets > to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next > door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say > anything about the $800 he owes me?" > > Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit > and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to > prevent avoidable exposure. > > Corporate Lesson 2 > > A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing > her gown to reveal a leg. > The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he > stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm > 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand > slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm > 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." > Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the > church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and > seek, further up, you will find glory." > > Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might > miss a great opportunity. > > Corporate Lesson 3 > > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch > when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. > The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me > first!" says the admin. clerk. > "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the > world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want > to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an > endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. > "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want > those two back in the office after lunch." > > Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. > > Corporate Lesson 4 > > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, > "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: > "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and > rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > > Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting > very high up. > > Corporate Lesson 5 > > A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the > top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." > "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're > packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that > it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The > next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. > Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of > the tree. > Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. > > Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep > you there. >
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