Hm, I'm not sure the that monogamy = disneyism. I mean, I'm monogamous, but I have lots of friends, each of whom fulfill a different role for me. The only way in which I'm monogamous is that only one tab A gets inserted into slot B, so to speak. I'd agree that becoming insular as a nuclear family is a dangerous proposition.
On 7/28/05, S. Isaac Dealey <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > >> identify as bisexual), but I'm not going to tell > >> them that it will be easy or that they will ever > >> find that one person who fulfills them completely > >> (which I think is a Disneyism anyway). > >> > >> I think monogamy might work a lot better in a > >> culture in which families / communities were more > >> involved with each other -- that is -- our culture > >> seems hell-bent on this idea of making your > >> monogamous romantic partner your sole source of > >> social fulfillment (or in the case of metrosexuals > >> yourself). As time passes we're gradually eroding > >> all our other social interactions outside of those > >> that occur with this monogamous partner if not > >> solely with this partner. Or so it seems to me... > >> I don't think I'm alone, although I've been told > >> on more than one occasion that I'm "just whining" > >> about some imaginary thing I've invented. > > > Nope. I'm there with you on this one. I'm not > > looking for someone to be my end-all-be-all-answer > > -to-everything. I'm looking for someone who fills > > some of the places not filled by my sisters, > > parents, friends, etc. The best relationship I > > ever had included her going out with the girls > > regularly, and me geeking out with the boys. :-) > > Well it seems fairly easy to find people who agree with that > sentiment... The reason people tell me I'm whining about something > imaginary usually is because they disagree that our culture is > encouraging the Disneyism... Personally I think that the mere fact > that we have the Disneyism (exemplified by Cinderella, Beauty and the > Beast, the Little Mermaid, etc.) is sort of anecdotal evidence that > the culture is really driving in that direction of eroding vertical > social involvement. > > There is also this little matter of that whenever I am depressed and I > reach out to people, I frequently hear "cling to (insert significant > other's name here)! The two of you can get through it all > together!"... Don't get me wrong, I LOVE tiff... I just don't know > that I really feel that any single person can or should be my only > source... And sometimes it's not even because the thing that's on my > mind has anything at all to do with our relationship -- sometimes it's > because I'm excited about something she's not interested in, and > sometimes it's because I need to bitch to someone who hasn't heard > about the subject of the bitch session from me before. > > It's increasingly frustrating to me that I find it rather easy to find > friends who will talk with me and seem to genuinely care (like several > from this list) but that it remains difficult to find friends locally > who have time to spend in person. (Don't get me started on the > catch-22 that is looking for a boyfriend.) I'd like to hope that also > has a lot to do with my location -- it certainly seems that my social > options are more limited here in Ft Lauderdale than they were in > Dallas... Unfortunately I'm still not at a place where I seem to have > any ability to decide where I want to live, so I'm more or less > "stuck" with the social climate I find myself in geographically. At > the moment that means my friends locally are my co-workers, and that's > just a crappy place to be... My co-workers are nice people, but you > can only share so many common interests with someone you only met > because you needed a job and happened to be good at constructing SQL > queries. > > hiring manager: So... how do you feel about the work of George Orwell? > > > applicant: Is that a technical question? > > hiring manager: No, I'm just so lonely... will you be my friend? Would > you like some champaG'n? > > > > s. isaac dealey 954.522.6080 > new epoch : isn't it time for a change? > > add features without fixtures with > the onTap open source framework > > http://www.fusiontap.com > http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Discover CFTicket - The leading ColdFusion Help Desk and Trouble Ticket application http://www.houseoffusion.com/banners/view.cfm?bannerid=48 Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:167089 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
