Hi Beth, Timing may have something to do with it... but age does as well. When you are young and inexperienced, you don't know how to handle certain situations.. you don't know what you want to do in the future.. hell you don't even know if you want kids... as you pointed out Beth.
However, as you mature, you have a better idea of what you want. You learn to be to the point (a lot of us do anyway), you learn how to communicate, you learn how to respect, you don't play emotional games... maybe you feel age doesn't play a part... but if you compare dating experiences of people who dated at 20, compared to people who start dating at 30, I think you will notice a HUGE difference. IMO, age play's a very big part. Timing may play a part in meeting a partner, but age and maturity make the difference when dealing with a succesful relationship. Both my wife and I, as I mentioned, were in 10 year relationships before... I entered that relationship at about 20... and to me it was all about sex... to hell with the other stuff, I was a guy after all... and that's all I was interested in (well almost). I got stuck in that relationship, which ended up being very unfulfilling, and I was too young and immature to see that it was not doing me any good. Yeah, I was probably week for not getting out of it sooner... but I wonder how many couples are still married for that same reason?? It's not about wanting to get married... Dee had been married before, she wasn't particularly ready to get married again. She had a child from the previous marriage and wasn't about to rush into anything else with someone she wasn't sure about. She couldn't put her son through that, and I wouldn't have wanted to risk hurting Connor. I think Connor was also the reason we were so upfront in the early stages... I came from a single parent family, and swore blind that I would not follow in the same footsteps.. so there was no way on the planet I was going to string Dee and Connor along. Dee, being a very similar person to myself, would do nothing to risk hurting Connor either. And Dee didn't need a man in her life... she's a succesful illustrator.. she didn't get hooked up with me because she needed a guy in her life. I believe it very much is to do with age. Age and maturity give us the ability to deal with lifes hurdles and to express what we need and desire. Ok.. will stop rambling!! N "Fleischer, Beth" wrote: > > Thats not age - its timing, Both parties are in a place in their lives > where they want to get married. > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: Nick Texidor [SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > > Sent: Wednesday, December 12, 2001 4:05 PM > > To: CF-Community > > Subject: Re: I got a present today! > > > > Congratulations!! > > > > Time is irrelevant.. when you meet the right person you know!! As > > corny as it sounds, I believe it's true!! > > > > > > Although I knew Dee for about a year before we started seeing each > > other, we'd only been together for 5 months before I proposed... we both > > knew it was what we wanted. We were married 7 months later.. on the > > anniversary of our first date coincidentally!! > > > > > > I think age has a lot to do with it... we are both in our early 30's, > > and we've both been and done the long relationship thing previously, > > realised it wasn't with the right person, came out of the relationship > > and spent time alone. When we finally started seeing each other, we > > both knew what we did and didn't want from a relationship.. both of us > > wanting open communication, honesty etc etc. There was no need to play > > games as everyone tends to when they are 21 and looking for a 'bed' > > partner!! So we started off on the right foot.. Due to certain > > circumstances, we didn't jump into bed with each other immediately (made > > it all worth while when we did though!! ;^), and we were very hoest > > with each other when discussing any subject. > > > > One of the things that destroyed both of our previous relationships was > > the lack of communication, and immaturity. I wanted kids, my ex-partner > > didn't... that played a part in the breakdown of the relationship... so > > Dee and I discussed just about everything that could try our > > relationship down the track... kids, circumcision (of a potential son), > > death, houses, hopes, desires, fantasies!!!... everything!! What we > > have now is not only a very strong relationship, but also a very strong > > friendship!! > > > > I say timing is irrelevant, just communicate with each other, and find > > out if you are right together! > > > > N > > > > > > "Fleischer, Beth" wrote: > > > > > > Congratulations Erika and Phillip! > > > > > > You people move awfully fast!! Doesnt' that scare you (says the woman > > who > > > has been with the same boytoy for 4+ years and has insisted all > > discussions > > > of marriage be postponed until 2004)?? > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > > From: Erika L Walker [SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > > > > Sent: Wednesday, December 12, 2001 2:54 PM > > > > To: CF-Community > > > > Subject: I got a present today! > > > > > > > > Philip gave me an engagement ring today!! > > > > > > > > :) > > > > > > > > Looks like England is stuck with me! > > > > > > > > :) > > > > > > > > > > > > Erika > > > > (with a K and a ring from P) > > > > > > > > Todd for President just because!!!! > > > > ********************************************** > > > > > > > > .. <--- candy dots for the line monster > > > > .. > > > > .. > > > > > > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This list and all House of Fusion resources hosted by CFHosting.com. The place for dependable ColdFusion Hosting. 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