> so what is your def of a unit? > when is one formed, and what causes a rift? > what is the need for a union, and with out > a fruit, is that cause for colapse?
Only if you want it to be. My ex-wife is very into the whole idea of placing all of her own self-worth in our kids. Personally I don't think this is healthy... of course, part of the problem may be that my own mother is psychotic and has at various times while I was growing up attempted to live vicariously through me. Kinda turns you off of the idea of parents placing that kind of importance on children. For myself, I would much rather be with a person who is whole and fulfilled whether or not myself or children or anyone else are present. At that point, spending time together is a desire rather than a "need". And in general I tend to think it's a lot healthier to desire but not "need" time with another person. But a unit is what you want it to be. If you want it to be you and her then you're a unit. If either or both of you are bent on the idea of that being insufficient, then you're not a unit. You could consider adoption as a possibility -- my own personal preference would be to take some time and seriously evaluate your reasons for "needing" children. Or at least, that's what I would do in that situation. Don't get me wrong, children are great. Imo you need your life to be about something other than children tho, otherwise the children are gonna suffer in the long-run. Which is something I unfortunately feel I'm going to have to struggle with myself as my children get older and may not understand how their mother isn't a whole person in their absence. s. isaac dealey 434.293.6201 new epoch : isn't it time for a change? add features without fixtures with the onTap open source framework http://www.fusiontap.com http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:201552 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
