Great one Erika! On 1/12/07, Ray Champagne <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Ha ha, that was awseome. > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: Erika Walker [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Sent: Friday, January 12, 2007 12:47 PM > > To: CF-Community > > Subject: ~ ~ ~ Dog/Cat/Pet Rules ~ ~ ~ > > > > To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. > > > > Dear Dogs and Cats, > > > > The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other > > dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in > the > > middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your > food > > and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. > > > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating > me > > to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall > > faster than you can run. > > > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry > about > > this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your > > comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. > It > is > > not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the > > fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out > and > > having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing > but > > sarcasm. > > > > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by > some > > miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not > > necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw > under > > the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same > door > I > > entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or > feline > > attendance is not required. > > > > The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. > I > > cannot stress this enough! > > > > To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our > > front door: > > > > To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: > > > > 1. They live here. You don't. > > 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. > > (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) > > 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. > > 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who > is > > tall, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. > > > > Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: > > 1. Eat less > > 2. Don't ask for money all the time > > 3 Are easier to train > > 4. Normally come when called > > 5. Never ask to drive the car > > 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends > > 7. Don't smoke or drink > > 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions > > 9. Don't want to wear your clothes > > 10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college. > > > > And finally, > > > > 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children! > > > > > > > >
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