--benD
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
> I don't know if you know this, but they are now selling Kosher computers
> (Made in Israel) called a DELLSHALOM. It is selling at such a good
> price I bought one.
> Mine arrived yesterday. If you or a friend are considering a kosher
> computer, you should know there are some important upgrades and changes
> from the typical computer you are used to, such as: The cursor moves
> from right to left. It comes with two hard drives-one for fleyshedik
> (business software) and one for milchedik (games).
>
> Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets
> "Ferklempt" The Chanukah screen saver includes "Flying Dreidels". The
> PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings. After my
> computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
>
> The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not
> getting any younger!" button. When disconnecting external devices from
> the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's
> tuchus."
>
> The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music
> already!" Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper
> right corner. I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup. Microsoft Office
> now includes, "A little byte of this, and a little byte of that."
>
> When running "Scan Disk" it prompts with a "You want I should fix this"
> message?
>
> When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"
> There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises
> it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek" on your monitor. After 20 minutes
> of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen".
>
> Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken
> soup. "Year 5761-5762" issues have replaced the Y2K problem. If you
> decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed manner, the
> following message appears: "You should be ashamed of yourself."
>
> When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you can do?"
>
> When I look at erotic images, my computer says, "If your mother knew you
> did this, she would die."
>
> And best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get Spam.
>
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