>The discovery that affiliation with the Republican Party is genetically
>determined was announced by scientists in the current issue of the journal
>NURTURE, causing uproar among traditionalists who believe it is a chosen
>lifestyle. Reports of the gene coding for political conservatism,
>discovered after a decades-long study of quintuplets in Orange County, CA,
>has sent shock waves through the medical, political, and golfing
>communities.
>
>Psychologists and psychoanalysts have long believed that Republicans'
>unnatural disregard for the poor and frequently unconstitutional tendencies
>resulted from dysfunctional family dynamics -- a remarkably high percentage
>of Republicans do have authoritarian domineering fathers and emotionally
>distant mothers who didn't teach them how to be kind and gentle. Biologists
>have long suspected that conservatism is inherited. "After all," said one
>author of the NURTURE article, "It's quite common for a Republican to have a
>brother or sister who is a Republican."
>
>The finding has been greeted with relief by Parents and Friends of
>Republicans (PFREP), who sometimes blame themselves for the political views
>of otherwise lovable children, family, and unindicted co-conspirators.
>
>One mother, a longtime Democrat, wept and clapped her hands in ecstasy on
>hearing of the findings. "I just knew it was genetic," she said, seated
>with her two sons, both avowed Republicans. "My boys would never freely
>choose that lifestyle!" When asked what the Republican lifestyle was, she
>said, "You can just tell watching their conventions in Houston and San Diego
>on TV: the flaming xenophobia, flamboyant demagogy, disdain for anyone not
>rich, you know." Both sons had suspected their Republicanism from an early
>age but did not confirm it until they were in college, when they became
>convinced it wasn't just a phase they were going through.
>
>The NURTURE article offered no response to the suggestion that the high
>incidence of Republicanism among siblings could result from their sharing
>not only genes but also psychological and emotional attitude as products of
>the same parents and family dynamics.
>
>A remaining mystery is why many Democrats admit to having voted Republican
>at least once -- or often dream or fantasize about doing so. Polls show
>that three out of five adult Democrats have had a Republican experience,
>although most outgrow teenage experimentation with Republicanism.
>
>Some Republicans hail the findings as a step toward eliminating
>conservophobia. They argue that since Republicans didn't "choose"
>their lifestyle any more than someone "chooses" to have a ski-jump nose,
>they shouldn't be denied civil rights which other minorities enjoy.
>
>If conservatism is not the result of stinginess or orneriness (typical
>stereotypes attributed to Republicans) but is something Republicans can't
>help, there's no reason why society shouldn't tolerate Republicans in the
>military or even high elected office -- provided they don't flaunt their
>political beliefs.
>
>For many Americans, the discovery opens a window on a different future. In
>a few years, gene therapy might eradicate Republicanism altogether.
>
>But should they be allowed to marry?
[Todays Threads] [This Message] [Subscription] [Fast Unsubscribe] [User Settings]
