You weren't kidding about the fussy part! The solution was a two-step one. First, I did as you said, just "domain" in both those fields and nothing else - not the subdomain, not the extension, nothing. Then I found out that I needed to add the IP Address of the machine to allow ITSELF to relay. (Properties : Access : Relay / Only the list below / Add the IP address). I would have never thought that the smtp server would not allow itself to send emails by default. If I change EITHER of these two components, everything stops working.
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