are you sending them all at once?
I would assume you are and thats why you are getting blacklisted. 
You can only send a few at a time or you will get the whip!

I have a client that sends out 30,000 at a time and we shoot them out every few 
seconds in batches of 25 and i havent been blacklisted yet.

You should do that and set up a failto email address and then you can grab and 
scrub the list. The problem with that is that cfpop is so slow that it takes 
forever so what we do now is a week after the email blast I check the email 
with http://www.maxprog.com/ and it checks the mail and spits out a list which 
I then upload and parse with cfm and remove all the bad emails. 

Now that I went on that site I see they have something else now, i might buy it 
and try it
http://www.maxprog.com/EmailVerifier.html
eMail Verifier works on the same algorithm as ISP mail systems do. Addresses 
for email are extracted from a Domain Naming Server (DNS) and eMail Verifier 
tries to connect with SMTP-servers and simulates the sending of a message. It 
does not send the message though - eMail Verifier disconnects as soon as the 
mail server informs the program whether the address exists or not.



>Okay, I'm looking at an interesting situation when it comes to sending
>out mass emails.  We've got a client with about 9000 email addresses
>on their list and some 2000 are invalid Yahoo and AOL accounts.
>
>When they send, our mail server gets blacklisted.  Unacceptable.
>
>My original though was to have a tool that used telnet and rcpt to
>commands to validate the email addresses.  I've been asked to find out
>if there is anything out there that will do this already.  I found the
>HexGadget components at http://hexillion.com/hg/ and wonder if it's as
>simple as that (and if it's fast enough).  I've found
>http://www.pivo.com/Default.aspx?page=features&product=emailvalidator
>the Pivo validator as well.  These are COM objects that appear to
>handle the tasks.
>
>Any thoughts or suggestions?
>
>Thanks!
>Hatton 

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