We always had good luck with hardware load balancers from Coyote Point, managing connections to 4 or 5 clustered web servers. For apps that needed to maintain seamless persistence, we used client vars (stored in the central DB), which allows the application to keep a running connection to a user even when the server they were on gets dropped from the cluster. There is some overhead with client vars, like having to WDDX non-simple variables, but it really worked very very well.
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