Dear sweet Amanda, I was married for 19 years, I was getting ready for work and making the bed and saw some paper under neath my husbands night stand on the floor, so I grabbed it to throw it away when I realized it was an 8 page love letter from my BEST friend of 15 years to my husband. How much they loved each other, how much fun they have with each others bodies and how she wanted them to get married and have my kids call her mom. It was so painful to read - I thought I was in a nightmare, I called her first and I swear this is the only time in my life I have ever used this word but called her the "c" word. I then took everything my husband owned, clothes, personal items and threw then in our swimming pool. Then I called him. I know the pain you feel, it is the deepest and hardest thing to ever endure. I was so stupid as I had no idea as it is my nature to trust people. I thought of suicide and then I thought you know what she can have my husband but she is not taking my life away from me and then she would be raising my babies. I went to lots of therapy and had some wonderful friends to help me through it. He said it was all about sex.... well 2 years later he had a massive heart attack at 46 and then well lets just say things did not work the same anymore - then the next year she was dx'd with terminal liver disease and suffered for the remaining of their marriage. I moved on worked really hard at my job and got promoted, took vacations, dated and had lots of fun but did not want to marry again as I never wanted to feel that way again. I think the biggest hurt was I loved her like a sister and just could not wrap my brain around how she could do this to me. She passed away last year and never once said she was sorry. She was a very self centered woman. Well of course now that she is gone, my ex wants to get to know his grandkids and his daughters again like forget the 17 years I ignored you. But I forgave them both so that I could heal, I could not carry that hate and anger around for the rest of my life. I do have to say that the pain still comes up once in awhile but nothing like in the beginning. We were the talk of the town because my son was very well known for his sports (he played for the Dallas Cowboys). She would wear shirts that said my son is #84 for the Dallas Cowboys. Now that she is gone, I know that he wants to make it up to me and I decided to not look at him as my ex but just a friend - we have known each other since we were kids. He has helped me with my Dad and has shopped for me as I am now disabled - he will even come over and rub my legs for me. I feel that it is closed. We now can be parents and grandparents to our children and it feels good. But honey no man is worth it and to be honest men cheat - they just do. My husband was very quiet and not the flirting type so I never ever thought he would do it. Honey do not wait for him, your life is not over, its just different. Surround yourself with the people that love you and get a support group of other women who have gone through this like me 925 754 0702. Get an attorney to help you with getting your disability as they do not charge you, just take a small % of your award. I also joined a gym and got my hair done, went back to church and spent a lot of time with my kids. DO NOT ISOLATE as that is the worst thing you can do. I never ever thought I could live without a man and now I do not think I could live with one. I enjoy not taking care of anyone (except my chi's and my grandbabies). If you go to church, check to see what kind of support groups they have. Mine had a single group and we use to go bowling, dinners, prayer groups - it was a support group not a pick up place. If you think you are going to harm yourself get rid of any type of meds or have your dad give them to you daily. Honey life is short, I have delt with depression my whole life and maybe you might need some anit-depressants to help you. Make a list of something that you will do every day, call someone, invite someone over for dinner, go to the movies. Make goals and plans and use us for all the support you need. I wish I could wipe your tears and hug you and let you know that you are stronger than you think - after all you are a woman and we are tough when we need to. Do not let him think that you are his door mat. Don't answer the phone when he calls, let him know that you are doing things with your friends and do it. I am here for you as everyone else and we all love you. Kiss your babies and talk to them, I tell my girls everything when I am in pain and I swear they understand. Call me anytime at all and let us know what we can do for you. What is your address so I can send you a card. Love and Hugs you are a beautiful woman!!!!! Nancy
When you are gifted... give; when you learn... teach Nancy, Abbey-Rose and Maggie-Mae --- On Mon, 1/24/11, Deanna Corey <[email protected]> wrote: From: Deanna Corey <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] OT Need Advice To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> Date: Monday, January 24, 2011, 12:19 PM Oh Amanda, My heart is breaking for you!! It sound so hard but let him go and move on!! Discover how wonderful YOU are...and if you see things you don't like in you...you change you for YOU! We are all here for you Amanda! You can call me anytime...909 867-4073 or email me your # and I Will call you!!! Wagging Tails in the Dog Park! Deanna and the Dog Park Gang: Nugget, Shuai Li, Mable, Mouse, Myrtle, Madison, Caleb and Maxine >From the mountains of CA http://swlf.lilyslim.com/v3T7m8.png?h9j6wId9 On Jan 24, 2011, at 11:26 AM, Beth Michl <[email protected]> wrote: So sorry to hear this Amanda.. Men !! Be strong!! Don't hurt your self for any man!! Life is precious! He does not deserve you ! I wish I was there to give you a hug!! Let him go !! & don't take him back !! Cause he can do it again. You don't deserve to be a second, or someone he can come running back too. I went through a divorce 5 years ago.. It was nothing like what you are going through, but still a divorce was like going through a death. It will get better!! I know.. ! It made me a stronger person. I never thought I could do the things I have done it the past 5 years! You can e-mail me directly if you need too!! Beth --- On Mon, 1/24/11, amanda christopher <[email protected]> wrote: From: amanda christopher <[email protected]> Subject: [Chihuahuas] OT Need Advice To: [email protected] Date: Monday, January 24, 2011, 10:49 AM My husband of over six years left for good last night. Rented a car and packed it tight, took his puppy and moved to Michigan to be with another woman. I'm so numb right now Im unsure what to do. I havent been on in several days and the reason is, when he told me it was over I tried to overdose and had to be admitted to the hospital. I got out saturday night.I hadnt even gotten to the car when he told me he was leaving the next day. He tells me he loves me and cares for me but he has to see what is between him and her. They dated for two years and broke up eight years ago. He claims he thought she was dead and after learning differently he has to see if they are in the past or still in love. He said that after seven years together he had grown to love me but that I had been a consolation prize because he couldnt have her. He tells me to wait for him, that he may come back to me one day. Im a fool of course because I will probably wait forever. Im so scared, Im not sure how to go on. He controlled and handled everything. I have no income, Im trying to get my disabilty. My mother and stepfather live across the hall. Its a duplex and the deed is in my name. They say they will handle the bills, theyve been paying them for awhile now anyway. Im so lost at least I have my chis. He also left his foxhound. Nine years old the poor thing seems lost as well. I just need you to know whats going on in my life. You guys online are my only friends. .
