http://www.arabnews.com/?page=13§ion=0&article=102557&d=18&m=10&y=2007
The Middle East's Leading English Language Daily
Thursday 18 October 2007 (07 Shawwal 1428)
Flirting Husbands and Their Wives
Haya Al-Manie, Al-Riyadh -
One of my readers agreed to talk about her problem which is common
to many other women. She said her husband has more than one telephone and that
he is open about some while remaining secret about others. His secret phones
are, of course, used to assist him in his hidden agenda of flirting and
infidelity.
It seems that many married men in their late 40s and 50s - many of
whom have teenaged children - are living teenage dreams of romance and
promiscuity. You would be surprised to learn how many women complain about this
behavior on the part of their husbands. Some of the women know exactly what is
going on and they spy on their husbands to keep abreast of their latest love
adventures. They know the details and all about the dual lives their husbands
are leading.
One woman told me that her husband married another woman in a
"misyar" relationship. He never told her but she knows he is having a terrible
time since he learned that his "misyar" wife is pregnant. The wife eavesdrops
on his conversations with his mistress when he uses his secret telephone. She
used to hear him sweet-talking the other woman but now she hears him
threatening divorce if the "misyar woman" doesn't abort her pregnancy.
Another woman said that her husband had made up a completely false
story in order to gain the sympathy of his new love. He told the new woman that
his wife was severely ill and that she had urged him to find a new wife. He
expressed how sorry he felt for his wife and said that even after he married
the other woman, he would still honor his first wife by allowing her to remain
in the house with her children.
This woman told me that she is pretending to know nothing but that
she plans to throw him out when he marries the other woman since all the
property is in her name, even his car.
A third woman said her husband was very well known for his multiple
mobiles. He told her that one phone was only to return his mother's phone calls
so it is around his neck 24/7. At one point, the wife grabbed the phone from
her husband, saying she wanted to speak to her mother-in-law. To her surprise,
the mother-in-law had grown younger and sounded very alluring and tempting!
What a strange world. At first, I didn't want to believe what these
women told me and I thought they were exaggerating. I do know that some women
enjoy painting bad pictures of their husbands and exposing them in front of
strangers if the men don't fulfill all their needs even if the need is only for
buying some nail polish.
I don't think that a man would have affairs behind his wife's back
unless he was ashamed and he knew that it was wrong. However, this is
unacceptable, unjustified and immoral behavior.
On the other hand, others believe that getting married secretly is
harmless as long as there is a legal marriage contract. I say that a man keeps
something secret only because he knows that his family would disapprove, and
knows deep down inside that his behavior was wrong.
But what disgusts me is that some men stay married in order to
enjoy their wives' incomes even if they are miserable and unhappy and are
always looking for different partners. They keep their secret phones handy so
that they can get the best of the two worlds. Once a person loses respect for
oneself, he may do anything and by doing so, he is no different from an animal.
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