Dear Tech Support:
Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting
software,
severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications
that
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon
was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such
as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs
new,
undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf
2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run
DiaperChanging
14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
Husband 1.0,
but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you
help,
please!!
Sincerely, XXX
-----------------------------------------------
Dear XXX:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly
due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0
to
Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT
package.
However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its
creator to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0,
because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files
within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so
nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from
the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed
once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error
messages
are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications,
or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install
Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more
problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.
Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will
notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with
HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the
quirks to this strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read
the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is
a
wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent
company
as an integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems,
regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the
command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the
command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3
and
Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP!
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and
more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\APOLOGIZE
command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can
also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet,
to
Beer 6.0.
Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create
FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to
delete.
Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for
all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently
run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great
program, but
it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I
personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used
in
conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running
smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you
will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1,
Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install
MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause
selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only
Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install
Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in
coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
Tech Support
--
Natasha Flazynski
440.949.1399
http://www.ciscobot.com
My Cisco information site.
http://www.botbuilders.com
Artificial Intelligence and Linux development
------------------------------------------------
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station...
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