Actually a late Fridays funnies.
(I'd like to dedicate this to my boyfriend, who is living proof that
uncontrollable compulsive
switching of TV channels with a remote control is a testosterone
influenced condition.)
Because I'm A Man......
When I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire
clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service
until long after hypothermia has set in and I have damaged the
vehicle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
When the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and
stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man
shows up one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix
these
things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
know where to start."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
When I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take
care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I
do, so for you this isn't an issue.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
like "Cumin" or "lady fingers." For all I know these could be the same
thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up
anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
When one of our appliances stops working I will insist on
taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice
as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I
watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we
should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a
complete stranger? I mean, could he know where we're going?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
There is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about, especially
while driving quietly. The answer is always either sex or football,
though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come
visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't
need
to
see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom, too!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
You don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are,
if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were
wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
fine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man,
And this is, after all, the 90's, I will share equally in the
housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, gardening,
the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do all the rest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This has been a Public Service message for women, to better
understand the male animal.
--
Natasha Flazynski
440.949.1399
http://www.ciscobot.com
My Cisco information site.
http://www.botbuilders.com
Artificial Intelligence and Linux development
------------------------------------------------
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station...
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