still considered rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home.
DINING OUT:
1. When decanting wine from the box, make sure that you tilt the paper
cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your
hands.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME:
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
manners are.
PERSONAL HYGIENE:
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should
be done in private, using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of good money.
3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they
tend to
detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
DATING (Outside the Family):
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive, Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to
go
out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years
ago".
3. Establish, with her parents what time, she is expected back. Some
will
say 10:00 PM., others might say "Monday." If the latter is the
answer,
it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
THEATER ETIQUETTE:
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately
after the movie has ended
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven
they
can't hear you.
WEDDINGS:
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a
cummerbund
and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for that special
occasion.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE:
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is
loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires
does not always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite
to ask her to bring back beer too.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
-------------------------------
According to a report by the Lovenstein Institute,
George Bush has the lowest IQ of all presidents in the last 50
years. Here are the results from the study: The study determined the
following IQs of each
president as accurate to within five percentage points:
147 Franklin D. Roosevelt (D)
132 Harry Truman(D)
122 Dwight D. Eisenhower (R)
174 John F. Kennedy (D)
126 Lyndon B. Johnson (D)
155 Richard M. Nixon (R)
121 Gerald Ford (R)
175 James E. Carter (D)
105 Ronald Reagan (R)
098 George HW Bush (R)
182 William J. Clinton (D)
091 George W. Bush (R)
---------------------------------
--
Natasha Flazynski
CCNA, MCSE
http://www.ciscobot.com
My Cisco information site.
http://www.botbuilders.com
Artificial Intelligence and Linux development
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