Gary, thanks so much - this is basically what I was hoping for as an operating principle.

I didn't get the "BACKUP" reference, but found this:

" Our way of doing so was to offer up con badge ribbons that were printed with the word “Backup” in large letters. It was, in essence, a way for people to signify that they wanted to help and would do so."

It reminds me of the safety monitors that we had in the anti-war marches in the 60's -- not a police force, but people who had volunteered to keep an eye out for trouble and to step in where needed.

What we're talking about here obviously is not a situation where we have a high probability of fist fights, but I love the idea of knowing that you can rely on others to back you up. Backing people up, then, is an important skill that we need to learn and to exercise. It doesn't mean stopping the proceedings -- as I think I said in a post some eons ago, it's like the management skill where you pay attention to the interaction in a meeting and make it your goal to have everyone participate equally and with respect. If you notice someone trying to get a word in while others talk over him/her, you can say: "I think X is trying to speak, let's hear from him/her."

It's often NOT possible to make that difference at the very moment that something happens. Conversations are fast; words go by quickly; groups shift focus on a dime. I can't tell you, though, how often my sanity has been saved by someone coming to me afterward and saying: "I just want you to know that I didn't think you were treated fairly. I'm sorry it happened that way, but I didn't think there was anything I could do at the time." That affirmation alone really, really matters.

What I get so far from this is a set of steps (Deborah, let me know if this fits what you were looking for):

- back up; pay attention to how those around you are faring
- try to move situations toward greater equality, less inequality, whether in words or deeds; take care of each other - if necessary, speak privately and politely to reconcile issues. (Take a BACKUP volunteer with you if you feel unsafe doing this alone) - [here's the hard one] if someone appears to be belligerent, or to be actively harassing, at a conference, go to any of the conference organizers. It will be their duty to determine whether an action has to be taken. If it's not at a conference (email, irc) ... then I think we need to create a small group of "backup" volunteers who will monitor the situation (not make a snap judgment) and who will have the authority to remove the person from the channel after a warning. - if there is an actual threat to someone's safety, do not hesitate to call police or whatever is the appropriate authority

These steps probably need to be refined, but if they meet most people's semi-nod, perhaps they should be added to the policy in github?

kc


On 1/29/13 7:21 AM, Gary McGath wrote:
This sounds like a more constructive approach than creating a sweeping
harassment policy. Perhaps we're getting somewhere after all.

I don't think either the assumption that no Code4Lib members would
intentionally harass people or the assumption that no Code4Lib members
would spuriously claim to be harassed is safe. Any approach has to
regard both as possibilities. I'm involved with a non-professional
convention that has dealt with similar issues; it started out with a
proposal of a seriously overblown harassment policy before coming up
with a reasonable one.

Organizations are generally poor at dealing with issues that are
separately minor but add up to a concern. Official responses face the
choice between overreacting and not doing anything. Building individual
and cultural awareness is a better approach.

This means building a culture in which people consider it safe and
legitimate to respond to a perceived insult, and where the result
hopefully is dialogue rather than official censure or threats (even as
jokes) to beat people up. It means that when people notice this sort of
thing by their presumed friends, they should consider it reasonable to
take them aside and say quietly, "You came across as a bit of a jerk."

At science fiction conventions I've often seen "BACK UP" buttons to
encourage this kind of culture. As a computer person, I did a
double-take on this at first (and it's good advice in both senses), but
it's a constructive approach to a problem usually best dealt with on a
person-to-person basis.

Threats, stalking, and overt aggression are a different matter, of
course; there it's necessary to step in and take definite action.

On 1/28/13 10:55 PM, Fitchett, Deborah wrote:
Firstly, there seems to be an assumption (explicit by some, implicit by others) 
that Code4Lib members wouldn't intentionally harass people. This is a perfectly 
reasonable assumption and I'm more than happy to go along with it.



I just want there to be a reciprocal assumption that Code4Lib members wouldn't 
intentionally make spurious claims of having been harassed. That's fair, right? 
We're all nice people.



So, given that we're all nice people who wouldn't intentionally harass or make 
spurious claims of harassment against each other, nevertheless sometimes 
someone will unintentionally say or do something that (especially given the 
concept of microagressions that Karen and I have alluded to and Kathryn named) 
really hurts someone else.  This is, whatever else you want to call it, a 
problem because it decreases the feeling of community.



So, how as a community should we respond when this happens?



That's my question. It's the question I've been asking over and over, and every 
time I’ve asked it people have derailed the conversation to their own fears of 
being labelled *ist. This is an absolute straw argument. One thing the code of 
conduct doesn’t include as a sanction is for admin/helpers to stick a “Kick me, 
I’m a *ist” label on offenders’ backs.



Can we stop worrying about being labelled *ist and start worrying about how 
we're going to concretely demonstrate that we're not *ist?



Deborah

(Excuse the html format and bolding. But if one more person replies to my email 
without replying to my actual question I might resort to all-caps. And possibly 
quote liberally from 
https://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/resources/mirror-derailing-for-dummies/.)



-----Original Message-----
From: Code for Libraries [mailto:CODE4LIB@LISTSERV.ND.EDU] On Behalf Of Gary 
McGath
Sent: Tuesday, 29 January 2013 7:35 AM
To: CODE4LIB@LISTSERV.ND.EDU
Subject: Re: [CODE4LIB] Group Decision Making (was Zoia)



Establishing any principle has consequences beyond the situations people 
immediately think of. In this case, the principle is that harassment is defined 
by the emotions of the person claiming to be harassed.

Compounding this by declaring that acts which are judged subjectively and are insignificant in 
themselves constitute harassment because they "add up" creates a situation in which 
anyone can be charged with harassment and no defense is possible. You've said as much in saying 
"So excluding types of situations from even being considered as problems is unnecessary." 
_Any_ type of situation might be considered a harassment situation.



Of course, not just any type will be. That would result in a situation where 
anyone could bring charges and counter-charges on a whim, bringing the whole 
system down. What happens in practice is that the people with the best 
connections or the greater skill in manipulating the system will use it to 
intimidate others.



Here's an example: At IUPUI, a janitor was reading a book called "Notre Dame vs. the Klan: How the Fighting Irish 
Defeated the Ku Klux Klan." A union official, for reasons I don't know -- maybe he just didn't like the janitor -- 
brought charges of "racial harassment" against the janitor, because he was "offended" at seeing a 
book that even mentioned the Klan. The university's affirmative action officer told him: "You used extremely poor 
judgment by insisting on openly reading the book related to a historically and racially abhorrent subject in the 
presence of your black co-workers." It took intervention from the ACLU and FIRE before IUPUI dropped disciplinary 
proceedings and apologized.



If harassment is in the eye of the beholder, then the janitor was "harassing" the union official 
simply by trying to learn about an "abhorrent subject." The official may have legitimately felt 
pain just from being reminded of the activities of the Klan in Indiana. Knowing there are lots of historical 
accounts of it might "add up." But the result, if it weren't for the determined efforts of some 
people, would have amounted to book-banning. Is that a path that library people should be starting down?





On 1/27/13 8:34 PM, Fitchett, Deborah wrote:

I'm not creating any categories. Whether or not "unintentional harassment" is "actual harassment", 
it's still worth bothering with. Even if it's "a minor thing" it's still worth bothering with. Even if 
someone only harasses me "a little" because I'm a woman, it still decreases my enjoyment of the community 
we're participating in simply because I'm a woman and that's still worth bothering with.
Because all the hundreds of "unintentional" and "minor" and "little" bits of 
harassment add up. They really, really add up, you know? That one time some guy tried to rape me actually 
wasn't as impactful (for me personally; mileage varies a lot on this kind of thing) as the hundreds of times 
guys merely honked/whistled/catcalled when I'm walking along the street.
No-one's trying to treat every situation as equivalent, except perhaps you. The code of conduct 
allows admins/helpers/whoever to take the precise nature of the situation into account and choose 
an appropriate response. So excluding types of situations from even being considered as problems is 
unnecessary - and it's *really* counterproductive, because those types of "minor" 
situations, in the aggregate, are as great a barrier to the inclusion of underrepresented groups as 
any single "major" event.
Deborah
-----Original Message-----
From: Code for Libraries [mailto:CODE4LIB@LISTSERV.ND.EDU] On Behalf
Of Gary McGath
Sent: Monday, 28 January 2013 1:45 PM
To: CODE4LIB@LISTSERV.ND.EDU<mailto:CODE4LIB@LISTSERV.ND.EDU>
Subject: Re: [CODE4LIB] Group Decision Making (was Zoia)
Miscommunication, error, and harassment are all legitimate concerns.
Sometimes one person says something and another person hears it as offensive 
where no offense was intended. Sometimes people say things based on assumptions 
that they should have questioned but didn't.
Sometimes they set out to dominate or hurt another person. These are three 
different things, and treating them as equivalent is more likely to make the 
situation worse than to help.
Creating the category of "unintentional harassment" diminishes the nature of actual harassment. If 
the statement "I was harassed" means only "someone said something with good intent that made 
me feel bad,"
then harassment is a minor thing, not worth bothering with. When words are stretched, 
they're stretched in both directions; if harassment has nothing to do with intent, then 
it's a relatively minor issue, and people who harass in the normal sense of the word can 
hide behind the dilution of the term. If the stretched meaning of the word becomes 
normal, they can say, "Hey, what's the big deal? All I did was harass her a 
little."
Speech that "offends" simply on the basis that someone claims to be offended is a fourth 
category apart from miscommunication, error, and harassment. If it's a private conversation and 
someone says "Stop talking to me, hanging around me, etc.," that request should be 
respected regardless of the reason. But if we're talking about public speech, a requirement to stop 
amounts to granting anyone's emotions a veto on other people's public statements, and I've already 
discussed the problem with that.
On 1/27/13 4:27 PM, Fitchett, Deborah wrote:
There's a reason the code isn't oriented around intent: which is that it's perfectly 
possibly to think one's an upstanding equitable-minded person but still make offensive 
comments that do in fact constitute harassment. This is another thing I can say 
"been there done that" about, in various contexts. I *thought* I was being 
respectful - but I wasn't. On at least one occasion I was saying something racist; on at 
least another I was demeaning a friend. Completely unintentionally, but if you 
accidentally step on someone's foot it's still your responsibility to back off and say 
sorry the instant you become aware of the fact.
(There may not be a universal objective consensus as to what is or
isn't offensive, but nor is there a universal objective consensus as
to what someone's intent is. People say "I didn't mean to be
offensive therefore I didn't harass you" all the time, sometimes
ingenuously, sometimes (as I did) absolutely sincerely, and how are
we to tell the two apart? Meantime someone still got hurt.)
So a code of conduct needs to allow for unintentional harassment in a way that protects 
the person who got hurt without being unduly censorious to the person who hurt. Which 
this code does: it says ~"If you're asked to stop harassing behaviour you're 
expected to comply". Because if you didn't intend offense then you'll want to stop 
as soon as you're aware you've offended. So stop, and everyone moves on. You're not going 
to be banned for accidentally stepping on someone's foot.
If you persist or if your actions were really egregious then that's another 
matter and that's why we need to mention other possible sanctions. But these 
aren't things you're likely to do accidentally, so there's no need to be 
stressed.
Deborah
--
Gary McGath, Professional Software Developer http://www.garymcgath.com
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