Please put your essay in your message--it makes my job easier. And, by
the way, there is no team, just me.
I will use your words as far as possible:
In an improvement of children,
This is a bit odd, but understandable. Keeping your words, it should
be "the improvement."
both the parents play crucial role.
"a crucial role"
Support and love of both the parents lead to growth of children in
terms of, healthiness and peace minded.
"The support and love of both parents leads to the growth of children
in terms of healthiness and peace of mind." I used "leads" instead of
"lead" because I saw "support and love of both parents" as a singular
subject, as would most native speakers, I think.
However, children who are taken care with no interest have been found
mostly with psychological effect. Also, not able to understand
feelings of family problems and with no pain towards their kin.
"However, most children who are neglected have been found to have
suffered psychological damage, not able to understand their family's
feelings and with no empathy toward their kin." I did my best. I'm not
sure what is meant by "pain."
Furthermore, father is like a backbone to his family and main
responsible person to look at every issue.
"Furthermore, the father is the backbone of his family and is the main
person responsible for looking at every issue." "X is the backbone of
Y" is a standard cliche form. I repeated "is" because the first phrase
was long.
He deals with other works, which are done at outside the home.
"He deals with other work, which is done outside the home."
To earn bread and milk for his family he spends his time almost out
of his home, and this does not mean that he cannot share some moments
with his wife and children.
"To earn bread and milk for his family he spends his time mostly out
of his home, but this does not mean that he cannot share some moments
with his wife and children."
Due to his involvement in his job/business, he made a distance from
his family, which is the main cause to raise this question.
"His involvement in his job or business creates a distance from his
family, which is the main cause for raising this question." The X/Y
form is not standard.
However, father ought to spend his time with his family particularly
when he finishes his work.
"However, a father ought to spend time with his family particularly
when he finishes work,"
Spending more time in activities as though playing with children,
having dinner altogether, watching television set and particularly
going for outings with complete family when he gets a holiday.
"spending more time in activities like playing with the children,
having dinner together, watching television and particularly going for
outings with the whole family when he gets a holiday."
These things combine relations in between family members and make
themselves to understand better.
"These things improve relations between family members and help them
to understand each other better.
In addition, all the people in a family can share their views and in
certain situation children take some suggestions without hesitating
from their parents.
"In addition, all the people in a family can share their views, and in
certain situations children might take some suggestions from their
parents without resisting."
Certainly, this results in emotional and social growth in children.
Good.
Undoubtedly, mother is also equally responsible for bringing children
up.
"Undoubtedly, the mother is equally responsible for bringing children
up." "Equally" makes "also" redundant.
Mother bears foetus for nine months, gives birth to child and feeds
her child.
"A mother bears a child for nine months, gives birth to the child and
feeds her child." "Foetus" is medical. We call it a child or baby in
the womb.
However, this does not mean that mother solely responsible to take
care.
"However, this does not mean that the mother is solely responsible for
caregiving." Your sentence had no predicate.
It is the duty of both to nourish their children.
Good.
An expert group of scientists claims that children who are taken care
under the responsibility both parents are found healthy, active and
intelligent. Also, with an ability to understand things and situation
soon, and to react on it effectively.
"An expert group of scientists claims that children who are raised
under the responsibility of both parents are found to be healthy,
active and intelligent, and with an ability to understand things and
situations quickly, and to react to them effectively." Technically,
children are "reared" and cattle are "raised," but nobody I know
observes the distinction.
So, I agree with you about the roles of parents. And your English is a
lot better than my Chinese (I'm guesing you're Chinese).
On Apr 9, 4:38 am, lengendry king <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> hello,
> good afternoon. I have send one more essay for correction. i request your
> team to do so, and let me know my grammatical mistakes, along with wrong
> structures to make sentences.
>
> ---------------------------------
> What kind of emailer are you? Find out today - get a free analysis of your
> email personality. Take the quiz at the Yahoo! Mail Championship.
>
> fatherhood ought to be emphasised as motherhood..doc
> 28KDownload
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