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Trade-A-Plane Ads 
 
 If the ad claims ... It really means:
 
 - rough condition ... too bad to lie about.
 
 - parts plane ... beyond repair.
 
 - immaculate ... recently washed.
 
 - engine quiet ... if you use 90-weight oil.
 
 - needs minor overhaul ... needs engine.
 
 - needs major overhaul ... Phone the junkyard.
 
 - burns no oil ... it all leaks out.
 
 - rebuilt engine ... Cleaned the spark plugs.
 
 - Fly it away ... It's a glider
 
 - Fly it anywhere ... within 10 miles.
 
 - desirable classic ... No one wants it.
 
 - rare classic ... No one wanted it even when it was new.
 
 - stored 20 years ... Tied down on the ramp.
 
 - ran when stored ... Won't start.
 
 - never apart ... Bolts too rounded to loosen.
 
 - solid as a rock ... rusted solid.
 
 - 0 SMOH  ... Won't start.
 
 - 50 SMOH  ... Won't keep running.
 
 - older restoration ... First owner washed it.
 
 - good investment ... Can't be worth much less.
 
 - no time to restore it ... Can't obtain parts.
 
 - 95% complete ... Other 5% doesn't exist.
 
 - Other interests conflict ... "Either that damn thing goes or I do!"
 
 - Doesn't smoke ... when it's out of oil.
 
 - Re-upholstered ... New K-mart seat covers and floor mats.
 
 - Major performance upgrades ... MMO added.
 
 - Kept in hanger ... The scratches are from my cat.
 
 - Pampered/adult-driven ... I'm 17 and I think it's about to die.
 
 - Complete restoration ... New Wal-Mart spray can paint job.
 
 - New paint ... Don't let it get wet.
  
 - Great family plane ... There's still food under the seats.
 
 - Good first plane ... More dents than a golf ball.
 
 - Worth $xxx--sacrifice for $xx ... I can't believe I paid $xx myself.
 
 - Lots of extras ... Everything that fell off is in the hanger. 
 
 - Quiet engine ... You can't hear it over the broken headers.
 
 - Race modified ... Duct tape for gap seals.
 
 - Exotic ... It leaves a funny taste in your mouth.
 
 - Precision machined ... I used a degreaser.
 
 - FAST ... -ER than my mom's Geo.

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