as an isp, what should one do to prevent spammers from signing up just to send thousands of spam emails until their account is deleted?
Presumably a part of your signup process involves obtaining the prospective customer's credit card number. Blacklisting the credit card number from being able to open new account number should be sufficient.
is there any software that works with courier to limit the number of emails a user may send over a given timespan or...?
There is no definition of 'user', in ESMTP.
Generally, you should be able to get satisfactory results by taking explicit measures as part of your sign-up process to make sure that the prospective customer is aware that you would rip them a new arsehole if you catch them doing this. If you use automated means for signing up customers, you should have a prominent statement that they agree to abide by your Terms Of Service/AUP, with explicit provision for cleanup fees due to abuse. If you get signups over the phone, this needs to be worked into your sales script.
Whether you would be able to collect is a different manner, but putting such a loud "welcome sign" up front should be sufficient to scare away most troublemakers, without bothering normal people too much, who are used to click through past random disclaimers. The troublemakers would simply go someplace else where they can open an account without too much of a hassle.
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