-Caveat Lector- : Subject: "Air" Apparent : Date: Thursday, January 14, 1999 5:18 PM : : : Joke du Jour (tm) Set 1. Volume 13; Issue 14. Jan 14, 1999 : : Michael Jordan quitting basketball? That's another era : passing. Well, he can still play golf, can't he? : : LadyHawke : ~*~*~*~*~*~* : : "Super Golf Ball" : : Michael Jordan, playing a round by himself, is about to tee : off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, : "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really : amazing to show you!" : : The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" : : "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can : *never* lose it!" : : "What do you mean," scoffs Michael, "you can never lose : it? What if you hit it into the water?" : : "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects : where the shore is, and spins towards it." : : "Well, what if you hit it into the woods?" : : "Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, : and you can find it with your eyes closed." : : "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your : round goes late and it gets dark?" : : "No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling : you, you can never lose this golf ball!" : : Michael Jordan buys it at once. "Just one question," he : says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?" : : "Oh, I found it." : : ~~~~~~~~~~~ : : "Michael Jordan's Legacy" : : Michael Jordan used to make over $300,000 a game: : $10,000 a minute assuming he averaged about 30 : minutes a game. : : Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he : was making $178,100 a day, working or not. : : Assuming he slept 7 hours per night, he made $52,000 : every night while visions of sugarplums danced in his head. : : If he went to a movie, it cost him $9.00 (with no popcorn), : but he made $18,550 while he was there. : : If he decided to have a 5 minute egg, he made $618.00 : while it was boiling. : : He made $7,415.00 per hour more than the minimum wage. : : He made $3,710.00 while watching an episode of 'Friends.' : : If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX (90,000), it : would take him a whole12 hours. : : If someone had to hand him his salary and endorsement : money, they would have to hand him $2.00 every second. : : He probably paid around $200.00 for a nice round of golf : but he was reimbursed $33,390.00 for that round. : : If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he : made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000.00 per year. : : Last year, he made twice as much as all of our past : presidents for all their terms combined. : : Amazing isn't it? : : BUT: JORDAN WILL HAVE TO SAVE 100% OF HIS : INCOME FOR 270 YEARS TO HAVE A NET WORTH : EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF BILL GATES. : : Translation: Nerds Rule! : : : <>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<> : Joke du Jour is spreading FREE sexy Laughter (and more!) : to 134 Countries on Seven Continents! A Joke a Day keeps : the Doctor away! Or was it an Apple a day? Hmmmm... : : To SUBSCRIBE, please send a blank e-mail to : mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] : You must be over 18 to subscribe to this list. : : When forwarding, please keep ABOVE section : of the *signature* INTACT. Thank you. : ~~~~~~~~~~~~ : A<>E<>R : : The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking : new landscapes but in having new eyes. -Marcel Proust : + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + : Forwarded as information only; no endorsement to be presumed : + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + : In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. section 107, this material : is distributed without charge or profit to those who have : expressed a prior interest in receiving this type of information : for non-profit research and educational purposes only. DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
