-Caveat Lector-
In a message dated 1/24/99 8:49:26 PM Mountain Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED]
writes:
While the rest of us chuckled loudly, I am sure that had this been seen by
David Kendall or Charles Ruff, they would have immediatly latched on to it
as *THE* explaination.
cheers,
Robert
>
> The President absolutely did not engage in any sexual conduct with Miss
> Lewinsky and will vigorously defend himself against such claims. However
the
> President would like to state that it is possible that a perfectly
> innocent incident has been twisted by right wing Republicans in order to
> undermine his administration.
>
> Mr. Clinton has said that there was an occasion when it was necessary for
> him to adjust his clothing he noticed with some embarrassment that his fly
> was undone. The President said that he unfortunately had some difficulty
> with his clothing as his zipper got stuck.
>
> Because Mr. Clinton has slight arthritis in his hands he found he could not
> get the zipper up. He therefore, for medical reasons, was forced to enlist
> the assistance of one of his staffers, who was Miss Lewinsky.
>
> In the course of assisting Mr. Clinton, Miss Lewinsky had to kneel in front
> of him to facilitate the operation of the zipper. For medical reasons Mr.
> Clinton has been advised to wear no undergarments and it so happened, that
> in their anxiety to end the embarrassment and rectify the
> fly problem, that Mr. Clinton's penis may have fallen out of his trousers.
>
> As Miss Lewinsky was grappling with his fly and felt sure that she nearly
> had it, and did not want Mr. Clinton to be seen with his penis hanging out,
> she took the presidential penis into her mouth so that it would
> not be visible should anyone enter the room. Mr. Clinton was unable to use
> his own hands for this purpose as he was assisting Miss Lewinsky by holding
> her hair out of her face so she could properly visualize his fly.
>
> It took some minutes for Miss Lewinsky to fix Mr. Clinton's fly, and it was
> during this time that another staff member entered the room and apparently
> completely misconstrued the situation.
>
> Mr. Clinton would like to reiterate that there was nothing unusual about
his
> working relationship with Miss Lewinsky. He did say however that as he had
> trouble with his fly on a number of occasions, necessitating Miss
> Lewinsky's repeated assistance, he was considering changing his tailor.
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