-Caveat Lector-
[From the February Harper's. They took it from The eXile, an English
language biweekly based in Moscow, which has a site, but no archive, at
least not one visible through the eyes of my text-based browser.]
Recently, the United States announced that it was offering Russia a $600
million "food aid" package. This touched the heartstrings of scores of
Muscovites, a few of whom have banded together to follow America's great
example -- namely, that of sending a country exactly what it doesn't need,
making them pay for it, then calling it all "aid."
Several Russian celebrities and leading expatriates have formed "Bandit
Aid." Last weekend they gathered to record a charity song for the
suffering masses of Washington, D.C., one of the West's poorest, most
crime-infested cities. The tune is based on the Band Aid song "Do They
Know It's Christmas (Feed the World)." The Bandit Aid version, in
contrast, is called "Do They Know It's Christmas (Send Them Crack)."
As everyone knows, crack is just about the last thing Washington needs,
just as a $600 million loan is the last thing Russia needs -- especially a
loan offered on the condition that the money be used to pay American
farmers three times more for grain than what it costs at home, meanwhile
leaving the remainder of the profits to a small clique of well-connected
Russian distribution companies and their tools in the Russian government,
thereby destroying Russia's shaky distribution network.
The Bandit Aid song will premiere next Friday on DJ Alexander Gordon's
radio show. All proceeds form the sale of the Bandit Aid recording will
in theory go to the "Save America" fund, though in fact any money
collected will mysteriously disappear in some brazenly corrupt manner.
__________________________________________________________________________
Michael Pollak................New York [EMAIL PROTECTED]
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