-Caveat Lector- SERBS BEAT THEIR DOGS! ====================== (CNNS, 04/05/99) -- This just in, from the Compromised News Network (CNN): JUDY WOODCHUCK: Christiane Aimpoor is standing by, at our Hollywood studio... er, I mean, on the Yugoslav/Albania border. Come in Christiane. Are you there? CHRISTIANE AIMPOOR: Yes, Judy. I'm standing here at the Yugoslav border, in Albania, in Europe, across the Atlantic Ocean from where you are. The refugees have been telling me some whopping good stories, about Serbs beating their dogs. You, sir, have you got a minute? GRIZZLED REFUGEE: Why, yes, Ms. Aimpoor. CHRISTIANE AIMPOOR: What have the dirty Serbs been doing in Yugoslavia? GRIZZLED REFUGEE: Why, uh... Many bad, bad things. CHRISTIANE AIMPOOR: Have they been beating their dogs? GRIZZLED REFUGEE: Beating their dogs? ..... Oh, yes! Beating their dogs! Oh, it's been bad. The poor dogs, beaten bad by these Serbs. CHRISTIANE AIMPOOR: Thank you. We have some video now, snuck out to us from the studio... I mean from Yugoslavia, showing some mighty sad, mournful faces of several canines, staring into the camera. (Footage from a kennel in Los Angeles.) CHRISTIANE AIMPOOR: The Serbs (of course) are denying these latest outrages. However.... (Shady-looking Iranian appears in the background.) IRANIAN: Psst.... Ms. Aimpoor. Here is the $1 million from my government for your "advocacy journalism." CHRISTIANE AIMPOOR: (Hisses) Not here, you idiot! Give that money to my husband, James Rubin, at the State Department! (Shady-looking Iranian slinks away.) JUDY WOODCHUCK: Christiane? Christiane? Who was that man you were whispering to? CHRISTIANE AIMPOOR: Sorry, Judy. That man was a refugee, demented from seeing the Serbs beating their dogs. JUDY WOODCHUCK: Yes, yes. It's shocking. We have to go live now, to the Pentagon, where their spokeperson will give us an honest picture of what's going on. Any final words, Christiane? CHRISTIANE AIMPOOR: Tell my husband, if some money happens to be handed to him, to put it in a Swiss bank, in my name. -- CNNS (Conspiracy Nation News Service) is an INDEPENDENT news outlet, not owned by anyone. (But of course, we would say that, wouldn't we?) BEWARE THE CFR! BEWARE THE CIA! BEWARE THE KNIGHTS! http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cnns.html DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om