-Caveat Lector-
 

Highs in the upper thousands for downtown Baghdad later this week....   by Optomistic Weatherman

....so if yer wearing one of those tablecloths on yer head, be sure to wear your one million sun block or you could get painful burns! Winds could be six to seven hundred miles per hour at times so some sunglasses might have a double benefit at a point here and there during the week. Flying debris such as large buildings, vehicles and vaporized people could be an obstacle.

Shortly after these high winds and extreme high temperatures, the sky WILL become cloudy....a rare phenomenon where there will be a single cloud taking on the shape of a favorite pizza topping! Speaking of which, even FROZEN pizza will cook in a literal "flash" with no oven required during this unique weather pattern so be sure to take advantage! You can watch it cook right before your boiling eyes!

Be sure to wear some extra thick sandals as all the sand in the area will be at least partially on the way to becoming glass and this might stick to your feet and once again, there is a danger of severe burns, so be careful!!!

For those that want to get a jump on things, we recommend marinating your camel with barbeque sauce or a nice bitter chutney sometime Wednesday morning and it should make for a scrumptious dinner before EITHER sundown on Wednesday evening....

This has been your Optomistic Weatherman report for the greater Baghdad area for the week of March 17, 2003. Be CAREFUL out there!!!

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