-Caveat Lector-
Begin forwarded message:
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Date: July 19, 2007 10:02:18 PM PDT
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Cc: [EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: Blessed Is the Name of the "Lord"
Lords A-Creeping
You thought Conrad Black was bad? Meet the real degenerates of
Britain's ruling class
By Nick Curran
http://radaronline.com/features/2007/07/
british_lords_conrad_black_sex_scandals_1.php
THIS LITTLE PIGGY Convicted felon Lord Conrad Black shows his
embezzling hand to reporters. He's got nothing on Britain's sex-
crazed, drug-addled, degenerate, criminal aristocrats
Following Conrad Black's conviction on Friday for criminal fraud
and obstruction of justice, politicians across the pond are now
threatening to revoke the British lordship given him by Queen
Elizabeth in 2001.
Black, who coveted the title so much he sued the prime minister of
Canada for blocking his path to English nobility (and ultimately
renounced his Canadian citizenship in order to obtain it), is
clearly a rogue and a criminal who stole millions of dollars from
innocent shareholders. He may spend the rest of his life in jail,
but do his crimes warrant an expulsion from England's elite
fraternity of aristocrats? A quick glance at a colorful carousel of
British lords who dignified their titles with leather pants, porn
stars, grenade launchers, and a colony of prostitutes suggests
maybe not.
'SEX MACHINE TO ALL THE CHICKS' The 10th Earl of Shaftesbury and
the Tunisian hooker who had him iced
The 10th Earl of Shaftesbury (Anthony Ashley-Cooper) 1938-2004
This descendant of a great 18th century philosopher had a
philosophy of his own—enlightenment through booze and hookers. The
Earl of Shaftesbury frequently abandoned his palatial estate in
England for drunken, Viagra-fueled sprees through the brothels and
bars of France. He was known to embark on such journeys clad in
leather pants, pink shirts, and large red-and-black designer
eyeglasses, brandishing large wads of cash and cheekily pronouncing
to all: "I am the Earl of Shaftesbury. I am a millionaire."
He dated many women, including a Penthouse pet, and had three
marriages that, of course, ended badly. It was his third, to a
Tunisian prostitute, that did him in. The woman, who claims George
Clooney and Bruce Willis among her conquests, responded to his
desire to leave her for a Moroccan nightclub hostess he had
allegedly impregnated by having him killed in 2004. The Earl of
Shaftesbury's body was found in a ditch in the French Riviera.
EARL INTERRUPTED An obviously blitzed Lord Lambton gets off on
hidden camera
The 6th Earl of Durham (Antony Claud Frederick Lambton) 1922-2006
Lord Lambton just loved smoking dope and screwing hookers two at a
time. And if a hooker's husband hadn't documented this predilection
with the help of a camera and a tape recorder embedded in the nose
of a teddy bear, he would never have lost his job as undersecretary
of defense for the Royal Air Force.
British investigators were particularly alarmed by his decision to
pay a hooker with a personal check (this was before Jerry Springer
popularized the move) and by pictures showing "sexual practices
which deviated from the normal." Lambton publicly explained his
motivation -- "People sometimes like variety. It's as simple as
that."— and expressed bewilderment that it was such a big deal:
"Surely all men visit whores?"
Official documents released in 2004 showed Lambton wasn't quite so
flip with British intelligence agents trying to determine if his
sexcapades had compromised national security. He advised that he
was both frustrated with his job and despairing over a grueling
battle to retain the right to be officially recognized as "Lord
Lambton" even though he had officially renounced the title several
years before in order to keep his seat in the House of Commons.
According to officials, the dispute "had become an obsession with
him" that could only be relieved through "frantic activity," which,
in addition to Patrick Bateman-esque hooker romps, also drove him
to become an "enthusiastic gardener." Lambton lived out the rest of
his days dabbling in literature with his mistress in Tuscany.
JELLICOE'S LAST JAM The dissolute Earl in his heyday
The 2nd Earl of Jellicoe (George Patrick John Rushworth Jellicoe)
1918-2007
The son of a renowned World War I hero and a World War II hero
himself, the Earl of Jellicoe had it all: fame, wealth, political
power, and lots of hookers. Jellicoe dodged a bullet early in his
political career when his friend Queen Mary excused some career-
threatening marital troubles and gave him what one friend called "a
royal license to sin." The license later expired, however, when his
hooker habit came to light at exactly the same time as Lord
Lambton's more sensational piccadilloes (see previous). Jellicoe
reportedly blamed his whoring on stress caused by his work
processing Asian immigrants who'd been kicked out of Uganda by Idi
Amin.
Jellicoe promptly resigned as Lord Privy Seal and Leader of the
House of Lords, but the judge who investigated the case for
possible breaches of national security later praised his discretion
for using an assumed name and never talking business with his
hookers. Furthermore: "He entertained them to a meal, and any
sexual intercourse took place late in the evening and at his own
flat and never elsewhere."
Jellicoe was one of the few lords permitted by Tony Blair to remain
in the House of Lords when he purged hereditary heirs in 1999.
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