-Caveat Lector-
SEX-CRAZED CHRISTIANS
The Christian religion has long been characterized by and noted for
it's strait-laced sexual mores. Strongly influenced by the likes of
such anti-sex moral ascetics as Paul, Jerome and Augustine, among
others, sexual activity has long been condemned by mainstream
Christianity as a sure route to hell, except when practiced by married
couples and only for the purpose of bearing children.
Unbeknownst to a great number of people is the fact that there has
been an undercurrent of sexual license running through Christianity
since it's very beginning. Various sects of the Christian religion
have always been around which teach that getting it on for God is one
of the ways to heaven. While some of these strange variations of
Christian belief have merely followed the examples given them by the
Hebrew patriarchs (multiple wives, concubines, humping their wives'
handmaidens, their own daughters, etc.), others have been out-and-out
orgy clubs where God was praised while they trysted the night away.
These kinds of behavior have been present since the very beginning of
Christianity. Some of the first Christians were different types of
pagans who simply incorporated aspects of Christian belief into their
existing religious practices, which occasionally included orgiastic
fertility rites and other fun stuff, which no doubt made their church
services a good deal more amusing than simply sitting for hours
listening to boring preaching about the evils of sex, as is the norm.
Many of the so-called Gnostic sects were accused of, and sometimes
guilty of, perpetuating pre-Christian sexual practices in their
observances, but in fairness it must be noted that other Gnostic
groups were even more stringently anti-sex than mainstrean
Christianity, believing that each new baby born was another soul
trapped in hell on earth. The writings of St. Paul display a distinct
slant in this direction, indicating that this type of belief had
strongly insinuated itself into mainstream primitive Christianity.
Of course, the patriarchal boning of any female living under the Grand
Old Man's roof was standard Old Testament behavior, and Lot even got
away with getting drunk and dorking his own daughters, with God's
smiling approval. Jacob did the deed with his wife's handmaiden, who
was at least Rachel's half-sister, since Laban is said to be their
father. Add Leah and Jacob was madly copulating with three sisters.
You think they might have had three different mothers?
Even well into the Age of the Great Bishops (approx. 100-400 AD, after
which came the Papal Age), there were "Christian" subcults whose ideas
about honoring God were certainly not what we think of as ascetic.
One of these was the Carpocratians, founded by Carpocrates. It seems
that Carpo had gotten ahold of a suppressed version of the Gospel of
Mark, which contains an account not found in the modern version of a
strange encounter Jesus had with a rich youth. Bishop Clement of
Alexandria, in a well-known letter to another bishop who had
complained about the Carpocratians, stated that (a) the suppressed
Gospel of Mark was genuine, in his opinion; (b) that the suppressed
version must always remain so; and (c) the Carpocratians did exist and
were accused of sexual promiscuity by both Clement and his
correspondent, a "carnality" which they justified by the suppressed
Gospel.
Then there are, of course, the many tales of monks and nuns meeting
via secret tunnels, and so forth, but while these stories are often
strongly supported and believed, they do not really represent the
subject of the current essay, which is about Christians who openly
gang-bang for Jesus a part of their belief system.
That Christian sex-cults existed all through the history of this
multi-permutated faith is demonstrated by the existence of the
Adamites. This late-Medieval cult was composed almost exclusively of
the upper classes, who were wont to stroll through forest and glade
butt-naked and do the wild thing in the grass. The noted painter
Hieronymus Bosch was suspected to be member of the Adamites, and
theses have been written about the supposed Adamitic symbolism found
in his paintings.* On the other hand, I have also read that he was a
secret Cathar, a Gnostic cult which had recently been bloodily
suppressed by the Catholic church. An article in a recent Smithsonian
Magazine repudiated Bosch's Adamitism. Whether Bosch was member or
not, the cult certainly existed. They are said to have been rather
disliked by the relatively more uptight peasantry, who were
occasionally unnerved by finding Adamite aristocrats wandering around
in their fields.
In the late sixteenth century, we find the clergy of England sternly
denouncing various deviant Christian sects, which had been spawned in
part by the newly widely available English-language Bibles. "The
Family of Love" is one such cult that is specified, their morals being
considered "fit for the barnyard."** How much they actually practiced
the sexual license they were accused of is open to debate, but
remember that you didn't have to be really awfully immoral to get a
reputation for it, in those days.
The late eighteenth and nineteenth centuries produced a plethora of
Christian "love-cults", due to both a reaction to the Victorian moral
standards of the times and the waning of religion's secular power to
punish transgressors. Seeking some sort of release from the tightly
structured mores of the day, free of the once-awesome power of
mainstream Christianity to punish sinners, and finding justification
for their behavior in the Holy Writ, the Christian sex-sects
flourished.
One of these odd-ball Jesus-covens was the Agapemonites, who were led
by a succession of two Church of England ministers. Their type of
"free love for Jesus" was cast in the Old Testament mold, with the
leaders getting all the nooky and their few male followers getting
next-to-none. Kind of a foreshadowing of the Branch-Davidian and
"Lundgren Family"*** modern versions, except without the heavy
gun-toting "Apocalypse Now" overtones.
The tradition of underground Christian sex cults continues to this
day. Besides the Old Testament-style "patriarchal" sects where the
leader gets most of the sex-for-Jesus, as mentioned above, there
recently have been and still are orgy cults available for those who
want their orgasms and their salvation, too. There is the Children of
God cult of the sixties, the original Jesus People of the hippie
culture. Their founder David Berg preached free love in the freest
sense, with the cult member's children encouraged to join in. They
also sent out "whores for Christ", women who were instructed to seduce
potential male members and give them some incentive to take the
plunge. After a succession of legal problems, the Children of God have
changed their name to "The Family" (has a Mansonesque ring to it,
don't it?) and reportedly toned down their public polymorphous
perversity.
So, if you're a horny Christian (especially a male horny Christian)
with no desire to renounce your religion for the sake of some snatch,
you have your answer right before you. Simply found your own
Christian subcult and require the male members to cheerfully hand over
their wives and daughters, even their sons, in order to keep you,
their Prophet/Messiah, well-laid and deliriously happy. It's proven
to work!
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