-Caveat Lector-
note: The following applies to political conspiratorialists too. --Ric
On Sun, 04 Jul 1999 23:28:16 GMT, in alt.paranet.ufo [EMAIL PROTECTED]
(The_Sage) wrote:
How to be a Newsgroup UFO proponent in a few EZ Steps!!
For years, many concerned believers have wanted to be let in on the
secrets on how to be a successful Newsgroup UFO proponent and thank
God their prayers have finally been answered! Now anyone can become a
member of the world's largest cult without spending a dime! All it
requires is that you read this post with an open mind -- but remember
to read every other post other than this one with a closed mind!! So
without further delay, here is the first lesson. The first thing you
need to know is how to speak the language of UFOlogists:
WHAT THE UFOLOGIST SAYS.........WHAT THE UFOLOGIST MEANS
--------------------------------------------------------
"This poorly taken ........."I'm clueless"
photo is proof that
UFOs exist"
"There are millions of ........."I have no witnesses"
UFO witnesses, they are
just too afraid to come
forward for fear of
ridicule"
"The alien implants ........."I have no facts"
were here a moment
ago!"
"I can't prove that ........."I still have no facts"
alien abductions
happen, but neither
can you prove that
they don't happen"
"The government is ........."You'll think I have
conspiring to withold facts, but I won't"
the truth from us"
Easy, isn't it? But wait! There's more! To misquote Ayn Rand, "UFO
skeptics have a weapon against you called Reason. So you must be very
sure to take it away from them. Cut the props from under it. But be
careful. Don't deny outright. Never deny anything outright, you give
your hand away. Don't say that reason is evil -- though some have gone
that far and with astonishing success. Just say that reason is
limited. That there's something above it. What? You don't have to be
too clear about it either. The field's inexhaustible: 'Remote Viewing'
-- 'ESP' -- 'Feeling' -- 'Revelation' -- 'Divine Intuition'. But even
if you get caught at some crucial point and somebody tells you that
your alleged UFO experience doesn't make sense -- you're ready for
them. You tell them that there's something above sense. That here he
must not try to think, he must *feel*. He must *believe*. Suspend
reason and you play it deuces wild...Can we rule a thinking skeptic?
We UFOlogists don't want any thinking people."
"But how do I post on a newsgroup?" you may be asking. Well I've got
the answer to that too:
#1) Always post the same 'ol story -- It's true, UFO proponents always
post the same ol' story over and over again, acting as if they
repeat it enough times, someone somewhere will eventually believe
it is true just from hypnotic repetition -- and they are right!
#2) Ignore all credible posts. We are here to fool the public.
#3) Spam. The more you talk the more somebody is bound to listen
eventually.
#4) IMPORTANT: As often as possible UFO proponents, the following
sentence must be used as frequently as possible, usually on a
daily basis: "You are the delusional one, not me!". A variation of
this approach is the ever famous, "I know you are but what am I?".
#5) When discussing alien abductions, the word "confabulation" should
be ignored at all costs.
#6) Whatever you do, proponents, never discuss the facts. Those are
items we do not want to discuss. We just want to discuss
unvalidatable experiences and unconfirmed testamonials, just like
the kind you see on the front cover of those grocery store
tabloids!
#7) If you have to respond to a request for a fact or two, then make
something up. Remember that the ETs are such an ultra-advanced
species that anything is possible for the ETs -- trust me!
#8) Don't tell the public anything except what you want them to hear.
Pretend we know what we are talking about and that we have told
the public everything. The bigger the lie the better the lie. If
anyone suggests that the National Reconnaissance Office or NASA or
the CIA or the National Security Agency is NOT hiding information,
pretend you have "insider information" on all of them, that
supercedes anything they could ever possibly come up with!!!
#9) Attack the person - try and change the topic from the request for
facts to the person requesting the facts. Remember that it is THEY
who are the close-minded ones, not us, so make sure you emphasize
this point!
#10) Last but not least; pretend you are the only one who knows what
is "really" going on.
As an addendum, discredit the late Carl Sagan all you can while you
are at it, especially now that he can't defend himself! Remember that
Carl Sagan is delusional, a liar, is a puppet for the CIA, loves fried
peanut butter and bananna sandwiches, etc.
Keep this in mind: Members of the Intelligence Agencies could care
less about whatever drivel...uh, I mean facts...you have to post, so
say whatever you want because nothing bad will ever come of it.
Good luck and happy asserting!
The Sage
=============================================================
My Home Page : http://www.psn.net/~xyz
My Home Newsgroup : not yet determined
"The men that American people admire most extravagantly are
most daring liars; the men they detest the most violently are
those who try to tell them the truth" -- H. L. Mencken
=============================================================
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