-Caveat Lector- from: http://www.umsl.edu/~skthoma/ <A HREF="http://www.umsl.edu/~skthoma/">Steamshovel!</A> ----- Last update: July 20, 1999 Next month: Acharya S speaks at the International UFO Congress in Mesquite, NV, on August 15th. Call 303-543-8667. In acknowledgement of the news about JFK Jr., Steamshovel points its readers to the interviews GEORGE Magazine conducted with conspiracy-type writers, including publisher Kenn Thomas. GEORGE nixed the interview feature in the eleventh hour, favoring a "Conspiracy Theory" issue with warmed over rumors about Tupac Shakur. Writer Jonathan Vankin eventually included them with his now apparently defunct website, conspire.com. Although conspire.com no longer offers anything new, the GEORGE feature remains at its site. Readers also are directed to Konformist editor Rob Sterling's remarks about JFK Jr. and the GEORGE feature at the Konformist site. ===== from: http://www.conspire.com/george.html <A HREF="http://www.conspire.com/george.html">Conspire.Com | Giants of Our Industry </A> ----- Conspire.Com Dept. of Last Laughs The Story George Magazine Didn’t Want You to See Though Only God (and JFK, Jr.) Knows Why Editor’s Note: We’ve always had a lot of respect for George Magazine. No kidding. We have. It’s the political magazine for people who don’t understand politics -- the New Republic for the Entertainment Tonight generation. George’s unrelenting effort to strip any and all discussion of political issues from its coverage of politics, rendering the entire democratic process a superficial joke, all in the interest of turning a quick buck, gives us here at Conspire.Com a goal we can really aspire to. That’s why when the ad-page-challenged, JFK, Jr.-managed, Big Apple-based mag approached 70 Greatest Conspiracies of All Time co-author Jonathan Vankin last year, and asked if he would like to write a 1,200-word piece profiling some of his favorite conspiracy guys, well, we just picked up that phone and yelped, “You’re darn tootin’!” (Actually, that’s not exactly the way we put it, but we’ve been waiting for four years to use the phrase “You’re darn tootin’!” somewhere on this Godforsaken, pain-in-the-butt Web site.) The article was slated to run last October in a special “Conspiracy Issue” of George (now there’s a frightening concept). So what the heck happened? Well, doggone if we kin figger it out. After numerous rewrites, edits, the full fact-checking process and even a photo shoot -- George’s top brass suddenly gunned down the piece at the last minute. So, as a service to our devoted and beloved fans, we below present the original, unexpurgated, untampered-with-by-bigshot-New-York-editors 1200 words of deathless prose, originally titled “Movers and Shakers of the Conspiracy Industry.” That’s their title, not ours. We’re still trying to figure out what the “Conspiracy Industry” is. © 1999 by Jonathan Vankin Princes of Paranoia -- Exposed! ALEX CONSTANTINE Author: “Psychic Dictatorship in the USA,” “Virtual Government.” AGE: “About 40” WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: Covered “Satanic cult” murder trial. “I discovered there were Star Wars connections and Reagan White House connections to this group.” CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: The pseudonymous Constantine weaves O.J. Simpson, UFO abductions, the L.A. riots, River Phoenix and Satanic cults into a web CIA-Nazi-military mind control operations -- of which Constantine himself was (he says) a target. “The CIA used me in three years of experimentation. I was electronically bombarded. I was victimized. It’s very advanced technology.” Okay. But won’t people who read this think he’s a nut? “Good! They’re going to deny to the end, so let them deny. One or two people will read this and understand. That will be their inspiration.” JIM KEITH AGE: 48 Author: 10 conspiracy tomes since 1992. WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: “A profound alienation from human culture.“ CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: The irrepressible Keith is just as likely to service the insatiable UFO crowd with tracts like “Saucers of the Illuminati” as to hammer home the militia-friendly themes of his “Black Helicopters Over America” and “OK Bomb.” (The latter probes such possibilities as whether “Timothy McVeigh was a mind-controlled intelligence agency asset.” ) “I find the militia guys a lot less threatening than the establishment,” says Keith, who isn’t willing to specify how much conspiracy theory he finds credible. “It’s a touchy subject because if presented wrong it makes me look like a complete hypocrite. In fact, I’m only a partial hypocrite.” RICHARD METZGER AGE: 32 Founder: DisInformation web site. WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: Worked on 1992 Jerry Brown presidential campaign. “It wasn’t that I saw a conspiracy not to give him air time. But there would be 10,000 people at his rallies. And the media would report that there were, like, four people. Very odd.“ CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: Metzger’s site delivers “hidden information that seldom seems to slip through the cracks of the corporate-owned media conglomerates.” Yup, it’s the Internet search tool for conspiracy theorists. Nonetheless, Metzger swung nearly $1 million in startup cash from corporate-owned media conglomerate TCI -- cable TV behemoth. Shortly after the site’s 1996 debut, TCI honchos actually viewed the aggressively iconoclastic site and promptly cast Metzger and Co. adrift. DOUG MOENCH Age: 50 Author: “The Big Book of Conspiracies.“ WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: “When I was 15, I saw Jack Ruby shoot Lee Harvey Oswald on live TV. A gray pall descended on my consciousness. Ever since then I felt like something’s being hidden.“ CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: A three-decade comic-book scripter (“Master of Kung Fu,” “Moon Knight, “Batman” etc.), Moench in 1995 gave the graphic treatment to a potpourri of paranoid favorites: CIA “links” to the Jonestown Massacre, the death of Karen Silkwood, CIA mind control, etc. Like Metzger, Moench has infiltrated the “corporate-owned media conglomerate.” His “Big Book” is published by DC Comics, owned by Time-Warner. ADAM PARFREY AGE: 40 Founder/owner: Feral House Press. WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: “I wasn’t interested in politics, but I found conspiracy theorists interesting because they had a different idea about the world. I went further and found some of these so-called strange ideas actually had some worthwhile information.” CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: The 1987 Parfrey-compiled anthology “Apocalypse Culture,” a decade ahead of its time, anticipated multiple late ’90s millennial fads. Parfrey showcased ultra-obscure conspiracy polemicists whose unsettling screeds linked the birth of the atom bomb, the Apollo moon landings and the Kennedy assassination to an ancient cabal of alchemists. Feral House publishes a string of conspiracy titles, including Parfrey’s own “Cult Rapture,” a collection of his investigative pieces from such venues as The Village Voice and Hustler. “Conspiracy theory,” says Parfrey, “is just a pejorative term for ’investigative reporting.’” ROBERT STERLING AGE: 29 Editor: “The Konformist” e-zine. WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: “I came from U.C. Santa Barbara and I did a lot of surfing there. Then I found out that (X-Files creator) Chris Carter used to edit a surf magazine. People who surf tend to smoke pot and smoking pot is conducive to being hip to conspiracy theory.“ CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: The budding Matt Drudge of conspiracy, Sterling oscillates between impishness and credulity in his on-line newsletter. “I felt there was an opening for a humor-based magazine, like what Spy was in the 80s, with a conspiracy edge.” On the Web and via e-mail, The Konformist wins the conspiracy industry’s “Most Eclectic” award. A lengthy, frequently published pastiche of news clippings, e-mail and Sterling’s own puckish interlocutions, recent Konformist topics have included food irradiation, the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin and “Hegel’s Place in History.“ KENN THOMAS AGE: 40 Editor/Publisher: Steamshovel Press magazine. WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: Inspired by the late, California conspiracy radio host Mae Brussell. “In high school I was really into Lenny Bruce. That connected me to Paul Krassner -- and Krassner to Mae.“ CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: Now in its 16th issue, Steamshovel is where the resolutely fractious conspiracy subculture coalesces into something resembling a “scene.” Thomas’s mag even has its own nascent jargon (“the conspiracy,” becomes “the con“). “There is a big scene,” Thomas says, “but there are little scenes within it. There’s the UFO community. There’s right-wing militia groups. There’s the Left. There are beatnik scenes. I’ve made an attempt to stay connected with as many as possible.“ ROBERT ANTON WILSON AGE: 66 Author: “Illuminatus!,“ “Everything is Under Control.“ WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: “Even before fuzzy logic became fashionable I was thinking in terms of probabilities. That’s my singular contribution to conspiracy theory.“ CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: A Playboy scribe in the swingin’ ’60s, poet-philosopher-prankster Wilson became a guru for conspirophiles of a somewhat psychedelic stripe. His fascination: the Illuminati, an 18th-century Bavarian subversive group suspected of ruling the world behind the scenes. He made them the villains in his epic “Illuminatus! Trilogy.” The novel satirized conspiracy theorists -- and also skewered the scoffers. “Not everything can be reduced to yes or no. I look at things in terms of probabilities. People who are too sure of anything end up acting like damn fools.“ BRYCE ZABEL AGE: 44 Co-Creator: NBC-TV show “Dark Skies.“ WHY HE’S INTO CONSPIRACY: Created an “eyes-only briefing book“ to pitch show. “All of us would like to be the guy in the dark room with the one light on our desk opening the secret document nobody’s supposed to have seen. That’s how we sold ’Dark Skies.’“ CLASSIFIED DOSSIER: Zabel’s series eschewed “X-Files” coyness for episodes in which The Beatles were agents of a massive mind-control plot and Robert Kennedy covertly crusaded against the plotters. While “X-Files“ posits unthreateningly anonymous aristocrats as its designated Illuminati, “Dark Skies” sat Harry Truman, Hubert Humphrey and Henry Kissinger on the Committee That Runs Everything. All of this appeared on a major television network. Does Zabel -- CNN’s original Southern California correspondent -- actually swallow this stuff? Or is it just dramatic license? “Conspiracies have always existed so I certainly don’t dismiss them out of hand. I’m a former journalist. I’ve been lied to by professionals before.” ===== from: http://www.konformist.com/1999/jfkjr.htm <A HREF="http://www.konformist.com/1999/jfkjr.htm">The Konformist - Why JFK, Jr. Isn't the Victim </A> ----- The Konformist Why JFK, Jr. Isn't the Victim of a Conspiracy Robert Sterling Whenever big events happen in the news, I am usually bombarded with emails from people detailing conspiracy theories hidden within the headlines. The apparent plane crash of John F. Kennedy, Jr. is one such event, and indeed, there are some quite persuasive coincidences that suggest something is up, as planned operations often are done on special days to note symbolic significance. To begin with, the crash coincides exactly with the third anniversary of the downing of TWA 800, which happened in almost the identical area. Furthermore, it comes on the eve of the 30th anniversary of Chappaquiddick, the scandalous car accident that killed Mary Jo Kopechne and destroyed the political career of the final Kennedy brother. The Coast Guard has launched a search of the area around Martha's Vineyard (regular hangout of the Klinton's) and Montauk (the reputed center of bizarre hi-tech experiments, including the infamous Philadelphia Experiment.) Hmmm... Among the best theories put out is one by "Ru Mills", claiming John-John was murdered for his alleged plan to run against Hillary in the New York 2000 Senate race, either as a Democrat or as an independent third party candidate. Such a run would be quite damaging to the Lady Macbeth in the White House. Others have suggested this to be the final fulfillment of Nostradamus' dire warning of a grim ending for the Kennedy family. Considering it was only a year and a half ago Michael Kennedy, son of the late RFK, died in a "skiing accident" in Aspen (similar to the one that would soon after kill Sonny Bono), the curse of the Kennedy Klan may not be over, at least as elites out to get them are concerned. Having said this, let me be perfectly honest with you all: I don't think there's any conspiracy behind this plane crash whatsoever. Rest assured, it'd be nice to think there was one here, and I certainly won't suppress evidence suggesting it was. Sadly, however, I am too compelled by one simple fact that just can't be ignored: John F. Kennedy, Jr. was a pea-brained moron. John-John: as dumb as he looks. I admit such a statement at this time is perhaps in poor taste, and I was tempted to keep my big fat mouth shut for once. But then I remembered the fall of 1997, having become sickened by the constant and annoying tributes to the supposed humanitarian Mother Teresa, I finally had enough, and before her corpse had even begun to rot, wrote a vicious attack on her titled "The Mother Was A Mother." (Since then, I have received numerous emails promising I have earned reserved seating in Hell for this single act.) I suppose if my malicious nature was strong enough to hack at that phony-ass bitch, I can remind you all what a dumbass John-John was, no matter how unpopular that may be. Let's not kid ourselves, folks: JFK, Jr. was stupid as shit, there's no getting around it. He brings to mind the words of Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson (while unfairly describing Terry Bradshaw as "dumb," the week before the Steeler quarterback burned the Cowboy defense for 4 touchdowns in Superbowl XIII), who boasted that Bradshaw couldn't spell "cat" if you spotted him the "c" and the "a". Had John-John continued in his father's path, he would've undoubtedly lived up to the hype of being (in my words) "the Democratic Party's answer to Dan Quayle." As it turns out, a career in politics may have been already out of the question for the dim-witted pretty boy. He had already risen to his level of certifiable incompetence by being the Editor-in-Chief of the atrocious George Magazine. The best description of the lame "political" magazine comes from Jonathan Vankin and John Whalen of Conspire.com, who described it as a "political magazine for people who don't understand politics -- the New Republic for the Entertainment Tonight generation," while deriding George's "unrelenting effort to strip any and all discussion of political issues from its coverage of politics, rendering the entire democratic process a superficial joke." The reason Vankin and Whalen had chosen to write such a deserved hack on George is that in July 1998 (a little over a year ago), Vankin had been hired by them to write a profile on the top conspiracy writers in the world, for, of all things, George Magazine's "Conspiracy" issue (please hold in laughter.) Among the nine writers Vankin chose to profile was none other than yours truly. In late July, a tanned, toned Robert Sterling was even chosen to have a special photo profile done for the issue, during which I was coaxed into lounging in and around my apartment complex pool in a swimsuit. Despite the immense time Vankin put into the piece, the article was killed, perhaps because John-John was frightened at the prospect of having some guy better looking than him promoted in his own mag. (In any case, despite repeated attempts, George has yet to send me copies of the photos as they have promised.) To make matters even worse, in the same "Conspiracy" issue, George did a fawning piece on 60 Minutes and its crew of decrepit establishment suckups. (This despite the fact that 60 Minutes is more a part of the conspiracy rather than an exposer of it.) Further, one year before the "Conspiracy" issue, George ran a cheery celebration of the CIA on its 50th anniversary, which means JFK, Jr. was nicer to the guys who killed his daddy than he was to me. Like I said, the guy was an idiot. Not that I'm bitter about the fact that the plug was pulled on what could've been the best publicity coup yet for The Konformist, but as far as I'm concerned, JFK, Jr. can go fuck himself. Even if there was a conspiracy behind his death (and there wasn't), I think it'd be more worthwhile to follow a truly interesting underground rumor: that cinematic genius Stanley Kubrick was actually murdered, in revenge for revealing elitist sexual shenanigans in Eyes Wide Shut. After all, any conspiracy theory that encourages people to watch more Kubrick films is one worth promoting, whether it be true or not. But not one promoting unnecessary anguish at the supposed great loss of JFK, Jr. His attempts at faking intelligence were about as unconvincing as Ricky Martin trying to pretend he's heterosexual. The man had no business running a magazine (as its pathetic performance only proved), had no business even contemplating a political career, and apparently had no business flying airplanes either. As usual, John-John appears to have been in WAY over his head. JFK, Jr. is very likely dead, and soon, George Magazine, already struggling, will suffer the same deserved fate. I for one won't miss it a bit. To read the killed George article on the top conspiracy writers: http://www.conspire.com/george.html As it turns out, all but Doug Moench and Bryce Zabel have had their works in The Konformist, and Mr. Moench and Mr. Zabel are most certainly welcome. Robert Sterling ( [EMAIL PROTECTED] ) is the editor of The Konformist, the world's most popular underground magazine dedicated to rebellion, konspiracy & subversion. ----- Aloha, He'Ping, Om, Shalom, Salaam. Em Hotep, Peace Be, Omnia Bona Bonis, All My Relations. Adieu, Adios, Aloha. Amen. 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