-Caveat Lector-
>From BostonHerald
http://www.bostonherald.com/bostonherald/colm/sciacca07261999.htm
> Harebrained stunt dogs Gore campaign
> by Joe Sciacca
>
> Monday, July 26, 1999
>
>
> As if poor Al Gore didn't have enough problems on the campaign
> trail, he's now being stalked by a rabbit.
>
> A 7-foot rabbit with a bushy tail, floppy ears and, unfortunately
> for the vice president, the determination of a turtle not a hare.
>
> ``When he first saw me in D.C., I think it was March, he got out
> of his car, stopped, stared and just walked away,'' the rabbit
> said. ``The Secret Service made me sit in the back of a car while
> they ran my Social Security number. But now, I have major
> clearance.''
>
> The rabbit has chased Gore from state to state, albeit very
> slowly because, as it explains, ``My feet are 3 feet long. ''
>
> Gore stops in New Hampshire. He sees the rabbit. Iowa, he sees
> the rabbit. Virginia, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin. Rabbit, rabbit,
> rabbit.
>
> While George W. Bush has merely the occasional pink elephant with
> which to cope, Gore is being driven bonkers by a bunny. He wants
> it to stop.
>
> Gore aides have called PETA - the rabid animal rights group,
> People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals - and repeatedly
> complained and last week, the rabbit himself reports, the vice
> president's campaign committee called and requested peace talks.
>
> At issue is Gore's support of a High Production Volume Chemical
> Testing program that will test the hazards of chemicals like
> turpentine and rat poison on birds, fish and yes, rabbits. You
> don't want to know the details.
>
> Gore's campaign office didn't return my call on this one, but has
> maintained in the past that the tests are needed to protect the
> public health and will be carried out as humanely as possible.
>
> Personally, I'm not a PETA type. If we were meant to exist on
> seaweed and wheatballs, we'd have sponges, not teeth. I admit I
> feel a twinge selecting a lobster for execution, but drawn butter
> and an ear of corn usually help me feel better.
>
> But the rabbit that is terrorizing Al Gore? I have to say, I love
> it. And PETA, you've got to love them, just for the entertainment
> value if nothing else.
>
> Who else would try to put up billboards in cattle states like
> Texas, Kansas and Colorado proclaiming that ``Eating meat can
> cause impotence.''
>
> And decry the serving of seafood at the New England Aquarium cafe
> as ``the equivalent of eating poodle burgers at a dog show.''
>
> OK, so they pushed the envelope a little when they protested
> Wheaties putting the picture of a professional bass fishing
> champion on its box, calling the cereal ``The Breakfast of
> Lip-Rippers.''
>
> Sure, they went too far declaring Thanksgiving ``murder for
> turkeys'' and putting a sign in front of Oral Roberts University
> in Tulsa proclaiming ``Jesus was a vegetarian.''
>
> But there is a strategy to the stunts and sometimes, incredibly,
> it works. Procter & Gamble chairman John Pepper ignored PETA
> until an activist hit him in the face with a pie. Then he called
> PETA, which agreed to stop the ``pie deliveries'' after he said
> he'd consider an end to animal testing.
>
> And, an Associated Press poll recently showed that two-thirds of
> Americans equate animal suffering with human suffering and
> believe that animal testing for cosmetics is unnecessary.
>
> Whatever the case, PETA's ``main rabbit guy,'' 27-year-old Jason
> Baker, is planning his travel schedule - New York, Maine and
> Tennessee - which somehow happens to coincide with Gore's.
>
> ``It's kind of hectic and the costume isn't your ordinary rabbit
> suit. It's huge. It's heavy,'' he said. ``It's so hot I have to
> wear an ice vest. You've got to keep fluids in you.'' Carrot
> juice, undoubtedly.
>
> Baker, of course, is no novice. ``I was a cow once, and a pig and
> a chicken,'' he said. ``I wore a diaper once, it was a little
> embarrassing. And I was a condom to promote cruelty-free
> condoms.''
>
> This line of work should help this young man when he discovers in
> a few years that it takes a real job to put tofu on the table. I
> can hear his job interview, ``So, Mr. Baker, you were a, uh,
> condom . . .''
>
> He's not easily deterred. ``If we get vilified for this issue,
> fine. We're not out to make friends. We're out to help animals.''
>
>
>
> And while Clinton may be advising him to hold out for those naked
> fur-protesting fashion models, Gore might just have to hop to it.
A<>E<>R
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