-Caveat Lector-
" Oh, give me a home
Where the peacekeepers roam
And the tariffs are lowered each day
Where the people can vote
But the currencies float
And other countries all do what WE say "
--Lyrics composed and sung by the US State Department -- NO SHIT!
Albright sends ``clone'' to sing about U.S. hegemony
By Carol Giacomo
SINGAPORE, July 28 (Reuters) - After spirited performances two years running,
U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright again produced the unexpected for
a closing dinner skit at an Asian leaders conference -- a drag clone of
herself.
Albright actually had to leave Singapore early for Rome so she could visit
Kosovo on Thursday and Bosnia on Friday for a summit on Balkans stability.
So Tuesday night's U.S. musical review at the Association of Southeast Asian
Nations (ASEAN) annual dinner featured a stand-in: Assistant Secretary of
Defence Kurt Campbell.
He was dressed as Albright singing a spoof called ``Lone Superpower'' to the
tune of an old American classic, ``Home on the Range.''
In a taped video message that opened the skit, Albright apologised for not
being there herself.
But she said ``American technology can achieve miracles ... Before leaving
Singapore, I had myself cloned. And I have left behind Madeleine II... who
combines the modesty of (ex-U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger with the
shyness of Madonna -- me.''
Campbell, posing as Albright and wearing clothes similar to hers, proceeded
to playfully exult about American hegemony.
Hegemony is something the United States is often faulted for in the post-Cold
War era, including an unexpected attack on this very point Tuesday by the
Chinese foreign minister during the formal (and serious) part of the ASEAN
conference.
``Lone, lone superpower/From Pristina to Port Au Prince Haiti,'' reads one
verse of the song, in which Campbell was supported by a chorus of other U.S.
officials.
``Some countries complain/We feel their pain/But we're sticking with
hegemony.''
As always with the performances during Albright's tenure, the Americans make
fun of almost everyone -- themselves included -- and the verses often contain
more than a grain of truth.
Some other verses:
``Oh, give me a home/Where the peacekeepers roam
``And the tariffs are lowered each day
``Where the people can vote/And the currencies float
``And the countries all do what we say
``I''ve met for some time/With the sheriff from China
``Our positions they sometimes conflict
``But we don't come to blows/As our soccer team knows
``We resolve things with penalty kicks''
``To my old friends in Asia/From Japan to Malaysia
``I dedicate this cowgirl song
``And to old North Korea/We really don't fear ya'
``Cause your missile is called the No Dong''
For many years, the U.S. skit at the dinner was decidedly uninspired. But In
1997 when she became secretary of state, Albright infused originality into
the task, winning rave reviews for a performance based on the musical
``Evita.''
In 1998 she teamed up with then-Russian Foreign Minister Yevgeny Primakov for
a spoof on the musical ``West Side Story'' re-named ``East-West Story.''
U.S. officials briefly considered doing something with the Chinese this year
but given the state of their relations, neither side seemed ready for that.
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