-Caveat Lector- These are actual answering machine greetings recorded & verified by the World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers. 1. My wife & I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name & number we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. 3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry I have plenty of money. 4. Hi. Now you say something. 5. Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. 6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you? 7. (In Asian Accent): He-lo! This is Sa-to, If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave "sexy" message I call sooner! 8. Hi. John's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, & I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, & their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office & do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name & number & they will get back to you. 10. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling & a number where I can reach you, & I'll think about returning your call. 11. Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, & if I don't call back, it's you. 12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, & then wait by your phone until I call you back. 13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably home cleaning our weapons right now & can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home & it's safe to leave a message. 14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded & will be used by us. 15. Hello, you've reached Jim & Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up & down, & I like doing it left to right.......real slow..........So leave a message, & when we get done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
