-Caveat Lector-
----------
> From: Michael S. Goodman <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Subject: Re: [CTRL] Men Humor:
> Date: Wednesday, November 10, 1999 12:01 PM
>
> -Caveat Lector-
>
> Please re-post for me a copy of this message.
>
> It must have appeared just prior to my joining CTRL.
>
> Thanks!,
>
>
> Michael S> Goodmann
Here you go Michael....
From: "Hilary A. Thomas" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
OWCH!!!!!!! Do I feel sorry for them? Naaaaaa!
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit oxious odors, and half the time they
don't work.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE..............He just holds it up there and waits for the world to
revolve around him. (OUCH)
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
What's a mans' idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why do men become smarter during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
They won't stop for directions.
Why did God put man on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why don't woman have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to put them in.
What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
They're intended for children, but It's the men who usually end playing
with them.
Why do men snore when they lay on their back?
Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.
Why do men masturbate?
It's sex with someone they love.
Why were men given larger brains then dogs?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Why did God make men before women?
You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
So he can tell if he is coming or going.
How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning upon waking up?
Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
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