-Caveat Lector-
>A Politically Correct Christmas Carol
>
>
>ON THE 12th DAY OF CHRISTMAS
>{On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival},
>MY TRUE LOVE
>{My Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship}
>GAVE TO ME: (the following)
>
>TWELVE DRUMMERS DRUMMING
>{Twelve males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
>ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING
>{ Plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members
>in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their
>union
>contract even though they will not be asked to play a note},
>TEN LORDS A LEAPING
>{ Ten melanin deprived, testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
>ruling class system leaping},
>NINE LADIES DANCING
>{Nine Persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression},
>EIGHT MAIDS A MILKING
>{ Eight economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
>from enslaved Bovine-Americans},
>SEVEN SWANS A SWIMMING
>{Seven endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands},
>SIX GEESE A LAYING
>{Six enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human
>animal products},
>FIVE GOLDEN RINGS
>{Five golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
>incarceration},
>
>(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front
>threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French
>hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To
>avoid
>further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been
>revised.):
>
>FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
>THREE deconstructionist poets
>TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
>AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
> **************** HAPPY HOLIDAYS!***************************
> This holiday salutation is only meant as a seasonal greeting. It does
>not
>imply or guarantee that the receiver of this message will have happy
>holidays.
> It does not constitute a binding agreement on the part of the
>sender or any online service. Your actual enjoyment of the holidays may
>vary.
> Batteries not included. Void where prohibited. Offer expires January
>2, 2000, or while supplies last. Not good with any other offer, discount
>or
>promotion.
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be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and
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Om
