-Caveat Lector- <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/">
</A> -Cui Bono?-
Dave Hartley
http://www.asheville-computer.com/dave
-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (The Scoop)
The Scoop - http://www.bobharris.com/
Hi all --
Before the column, a quick radio update…
1) Thought you'd like to know that we're giving away $5000 a week on my
new morning radio show...
Working Assets is actually giving away over $100,000 total to worthy causes
nominated by listeners who visit their web page at
http://www.radioforchange.com.
If there's an activist group you like -- national or local -- just go to
their online form, and then fill out who you are and why you support the
group. We draw names every Thursday morning shortly after 9 am eastern time,
and if you hear your name drawn, run to the phone and call in, and you can
tell our growing audience what's so cool about the group on the air yourself.
Working Assets will then send them the $5000 posthaste.
This week's winner was the Safe Schools Coalition. Becky, who nominated the
group, was really fun to talk with. Maybe next Thursday I'll be talking with
you… it could happen…
2) Not really a radio thing, but what the hell: congratulations should be
sent to Doris "Granny D" Haddock, who completed her 3000-mile march for
campaign finance reform on Tuesday. If you were listening to the show,
she was kind enough to squeeze my show ten minutes for an interview that
very morning, in between NBC's Today Show and ABC's Good Morning America.
What a sweet, amazing, cool woman. You can read the news from the end of
her journey and send her congrats at http://www.grannyd.com.
3) Listenership to http://www.radioforchange.com has more than tripled in
the last month. I'd be writing about it even if I wasn't directly
involved. I hope you'll tune in. Almost the entire Congressional
Progressive Caucus have been guests on one show or another, and a number
of our Action Alerts have already resulted in changes in government or
corporate policies.
On yesterday's show, Laura Flanders had an interview from Santiago with
the brother of Orlando Letelier (the leading dissident assassinated by the
CIA-supported Chilean secret police), speaking about the return to Chile
of dictator Augusto Pinochet; I stopped blithering long enough to report
on 24-hour satellite surveillance programs now being used on parolees,
tracking their every move via the Global Positioning System; and Matt
Rothschild from The Progressive told listeners about the resignations of
the UN's main inspectors in Iraq in protest of the human cost of continued
sanctions, a story almost completely unreported in the U.S.
The hope for a genuine progressive, alternative broadcast medium seems to
be a real one.
This whole thing excites the hell out of me... check it out!
Thanks!
Bob
THE SCOOP for March 6, 2000
© copyright 2000 Bob Harris
Fascism is on the rise... possibly because nothing else is for these people.
Digressing for a moment: it's amazing what sort of lunatic ideas people can
choose to believe. In England, there's a libel trial underway in which the
plaintiff (who claims that Auschwitz was a kind of "Disneyland") is basically
putting the Holocaust itself on trial. So Israel, which has an obvious
interest in making sure that the millions of victims aren't dishonored, has
released the memoirs of Adolf Eichmann.
The memoirs, while not the most fascinating reading, turned out to be, in
the words of the newspaper Ha'aretz, "very orderly."
Well, *of course* they were orderly. The guy *was* a Nazi, after all.
Adverbs, line up!
And now much of the civilized world is alarmed and puzzled at the rise of
Nazi apologist Joerg Haider and his far-right Freedom Party.
Is it caused by an influx of refugees from the Balkan wars? A more general
resentment of economic union with the rest of Europe? A societal
desire to reframe and shed a shameful past?
Maybe. Or maybe there's a simpler, more direct explanation.
Psychologist Wilhelm Reich explained fascism "the political manifestation
of sexual repression." Maybe so. Look, the Nazis were consumed by the
idea of sexual purity. Phallic symbolism was ubiquitous in Nazi drag,
right down to the stiff right arms extended in national salute. Even the
uniforms look like hardcore fetish gear.
And now get this: the very same day the Haider's resignation -- a
strategic move intended to improve his future chances of becoming
chancellor -- crossed the newswire, so did the following:
The European Union has set a uniform standard for latex condoms across
Europe. And according to Focus magazine in Berlin, there's only one
problem: the standard condom keeps falling off German men.
Ahaaaa...
To paraphrase a line from my comedian friend Mike Irwin, maybe Haider's
next platform should include free handouts of rubber bands.
_______________________
Want proof that some stock prices are truly insane? Even some of the
companies *themselves* are telling day-traders to leave their stocks alone.
Let's back up. Just for fun, next time you see a tiny stock you've never
heard of suddenly go up 40% in a single day, look and see how many shares
changed hands, and compare that number to the total number of shares are
on the market.
When the stock in question is a small high-tech firm -- the kind
day-traders love to seek out in hopes of finding explosive growth --
you'll often find things like 500,000 shares changing hands in a stock
that has only maybe 200,000 shares public. Which means the same shares
changed hands over and over and over again, very likely back and forth
among many of the same traders. Which means the ultimate price of the
stock may have nothing to do with the company whatsoever.
So hats off to OnLine Power of Denver, which recently had the courage to
come right out and say so. These guys' stock went from five bucks to over
thirty - a 500% return - in about a month.
That's an annualized growth rate of over 217 billion percent.
(And you thought Qualcomm was hot stuff.)
But OnLine Power only has exactly 19 employees, some of whom were
evidently a little confused by their sudden reputation, and understandably
so.
Imagine being the Human Resources director for a company which might
logically now be expected to increase its staff to roughly seven times the
current population of the planet Earth...
So get this -- the president of the company filed a statement with the
Securities and Exchange Commission stating flatly, quote, "there is no
relationship between this recent price and our current financial
condition."
Cool.
So of course the stock tanks almost instantly, losing more than half of
its newfound value.
Which you could see coming, which is why I'm so impressed: how many
executives in that situation would have been quite that forthcoming?
Why, it's just the sort of thing that makes you want to run out and
invest...
PS -- Shortly before press time, OnLine Power's killjoy of a boss left the
company.
And the stock started going back up almost immediately.
Some people never learn.
_______________________
Ladies, next time you wear expensive perfume to entice a man, just
remember: the main thing you wind up arousing could be...
Wild ocelots.
Honest.
This is one of those stories that makes me glad to get out of bed in the
morning.
I, for one, have never worn cologne or after shave, nor have I ever dated
a single woman who wore perfume. I just don't getthe point. Whatever
your gender, if you're in decent shape and your heart is kind, you don't
really need to smell like flower-scented whale blubber, and if you have
the personality of a sociopathic musk ox and the physique to match, then
no amount of pseudo-lilac chemical spritzing is going to ignite my passion.
But that's not to say people don't try, plunking down big coin for tiny
bottles of stink-pretty.
But they might also get more than they bargain for. Turns out researchers
at the Dallas Zoo have found that Calvin Klein's "Obsession" is remarkably
efficient at sexually exciting their caged felines.
They don't know why. It just does.
So well, in fact, that the U.S. Fish And Wildlife service has now begun
using it to lure wild ocelots.
You wanted crazed animal lust? Congratulations, you got it.
And when the ICU lets you get back on solid food, I hope you'll treasure
the memories.
_______________________
Bob Harris is a writer, syndicated radio humorist, and morning host at
http://www.radioforchange.com.
No Plug-O-Rama this week… there was more than enough plug at the top, I
think…
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