The Scoop - http://www.bobharris.com/ Hi folks -- Before the column, two things: 1) I'm advised that the Wall Street Journal ran a short piece on the George W. Bush/Poutine thingy mentioned in the last column, so the entire mainstream media did not utterly neglect the incident. Almost, but not quite. 2) Now that I'm up at 4 am every morning to absorb as much news as possible before the radio show, I'm finding that there are way more things I'd like to write about than I can possibly manage. How much would you guys actually use hyperlinks to other news items that seem funny, newsworthy and overlooked, or both? Obviously, it wouldn't take much space, and it wouldn't hurt to pass the links along. However, it would take extra time, and that's at a premium these days. My question isn't whether it's a good idea, really... if I include the links, would you actually use them with any significant frequency? Here's the kind of thing I'm considering: "Reading is the basics for all learning." -- George W. Bush, re his "Reading First" initiative, 3/28 http://slate.msn.com/Features/bushisms/bushisms.asp Do hormones in the womb help determine sexual orientation before birth? http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20000329/sc/health_hormone_1.html Global warming update: giant icebergs breaking from Antarctic icecap http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20000331/ts/environment_iceberg_1.html Let me know if that would be a useful addition or just a waste of everyone's time, including mine... Be honest, OK? Thanks! bh THE SCOOP for April 7, 2000 ___________________________ Flags, Dope, & Money: The Burning Issues © 2000 Bob Harris http://www.bobharris.com mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] * * = italics Last week, the Senate actually took another election-year vote on whether to amend the Constitution to ban the burning of the American flag. Thus, the U.S. might finally join with Iran, Libya and North Korea among the group of nations valuing a national emblem above the freedom of the nation itself. The measure failed by four votes. And so, dear friends, you and I will remain compelled to spend our daily commutes besieged by a phalanx of drug-crazed hippies who burn flag after flag while listening to electric guitar music and having enjoyable sex. What a grim legacy we leave our children. I'm being sarcastic, of course. It's my job. The American Legion is bummed for real. Which is strange. Read the Flag Code sometime, and you'll see why: it turns out that the people who most want to ban flag-burning actually burn American flags on a regular basis. Tell me: what's the official, state-sanctioned way of disposing of old, worn out American flags? That's right -- by burning them. You don't have to believe me: the relevant passages of the federal flag code are on the American Legion's own website, at http://www.legion.org/flagcode.htm#disposal. The actual public laws on the matter are Title 36 of the U.S. Code, Chapter 10, sections 173 to 178. The lines relevant to state-sanctioned flag-burning are section 176, paragraph K: "The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning." It's practically mandatory to burn *every* flag when it wears out. Out of respect. What some people want to ban is doing the very same thing. Out of disrespect. That's not outlawing an action; that's merely outlawing an unpopular thought. That's the sort of thing you expect from Iran, Libya, and North Korea. That's not what we should expect from America. Difficult as it is to comprehend for people unfamiliar with opinions other than their own, the protection of unpopular thoughts -- trusting us all to make their own free decisions -- is what's hypothetically supposed to make the American system better. Brave and honorable Americans have fought and died for precisely this reason -- to defeat regimes which were perceived as enemies precisely *because* they outlawed certain thoughts. You'd think the American Legion, of all people on Earth, might understand. Besides which, come to think of it, all a protester would need to do is claim that the flag they're burning was really, really old... ___________________________ "Hello, I'm taking a poll... have you ever used illegal drugs?" Believe it or not, that's precisely what the Zogby people actually asked in a recent survey. And people answered. Which floors me -- that, in the current anti-drug climate, people actually answer questions like this from a total stranger: "Hi there. Say, are you currently committing any major felonies?" "Why, yes, yes I have. In fact, I'm committing a stabbing right now, but come on in, make yourself at home, and I'll be with you shortly." "Super." But that's what Zogby asked. The answer was: 20 percent said yes, they had consumed illegal drugs. 78 percent said no. 2 percent weren't sure. Aha. So then Zogby also asked why people do illegal drugs. 71 percent said curiosity. 26 percent gave some other reason. 3 percent weren't sure. So, uh, OK, then how should America best pursue the War On Drugs? 61 percent said stronger families. 36 percent gave some other reason. 3 percent -- you guessed it -- still weren't sure. Apparently, the Zogby people might just have stumbled into the real source of America's drug problem. It's that 3 percent. I think. I'm not sure. ___________________________ Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Even people with arrest warrants. This is how far the culture of more-is-always-better has penetrated our heads: Mike Stacey of Seiverville, Tennessee actually flew to New York City and tried for the million dollars a few weeks ago knowing full well there was an arrest warrant out for him. No, Mike didn't get to the hot seat. Mike didn't win even a single dollar. And yes, after his face was on TV, the county sheriff found him and arrested him -- right after another media appearance, this time at a local radio station where he was doing a guest appearance to talk about getting that close to Regis. The arrest warrant, incidentally, was for failing to appear in court on a traffic charge. But Mike had a good excuse for not showing up: he was in jail that day in another county on a bad-check charge. So why did he go on the show? To win enough money to pay off the restitution charges he owes from selling counterfeit T-shirts. Of course. He still wants try to get on the show again, he says. Never mind that simply traveling to New York reportedly has him in even more hot water because it violated the terms of his earlier probation. Yeesh. So is there a bright side to all this? Absolutely: Tonya Harding? I've found your dream man. ___________________________ (PS -- this last piece is near-total hypocrisy. I just got a phone call from the producers of "Greed," the Fox entry in the current game show mania. Apparently I'll be a contestant myself a week from Saturday. No, I have no idea when the air date might be. But if I do as well as I did on Jeopardy, you can feel reasonably certain I'll find time to mention it...) ___________________________ Bob Harris is a political humorist whose new morning show can be heard online from 8-11 am EST at http://www.radioforchange.com. To receive a free email subscription to The Scoop, just send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] ___________________________ Bob’s Big Plug-O-Rama™ (updated 4/7/00): The Hollywood Reporter has recently dubbed yours truly as an heir to the radio legacies of Howard Stern, Dr. Laura, and Rush Limbaugh. (They apparently meant it as a compliment.) Check out http://www.radioforchange.com from 8-11 am Eastern, 5-8 am Pacific. This week's guests include CNN's Peter Arnett; School of the Americas Watch director Fr. Roy Bourgeois (who called via cell phone from a protest on the steps of the U.S. Capitol); and Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH), who has introduced legislation calling for better labeling and FDA supervision of Genetically Modified foods. This is a blast. The American Booksellers Association recently made *Steal This Book And Get Life Without Parole* a Recommended choice. The book can be ordered directly from http://www.commoncouragepress.com/steal.html at 25% off retail. You can read some ridiculously kind reviews at http://www.bobharris.com/book.htm. Syndication of "This Is Bob Harris," the daily 60-second radio commentary, is rolling along. Call your favorite station and ask for the feature. They pay attention, honest. The radio stuff is now also rebroadcast four times daily to over 140 countries by Armed Forces Radio. You can also hear an audio version of my commentaries online at Soapbox, which is at http://www.webactive.com/webactive/soapbox/monday.html. Http://www.bobharris.com is sorely in need of an update and should receive one in the next few weeks. Still, it includes streaming stand-up comedy clips, radio commentaries, and lots of other stuff like early writing samples from National Lampoon. According to the domain names in the subscriber list, the email version of this column now has subscribers in 49 countries. Welcome to our one reader in Croatia! ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED] Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/links/joinlb
