After watching the OJ Simpson trial, well let us say I have seen better
heads on a nickel glass of beer (old lawyer joke).
Now thisi F. Lee Bailey did a good job, but I cannot believe this man
does not know what Shakespeare meant when he wrote "first we will kill
all the lawyers". For in a communistic society his is the intent, to
destroy the law. Now is this not the intent of the United Nations and
this CFR front?
If F. Lee Bailey really made that comment, he should be ashamed.
Example of what Shakespeare really meant, for now today we see a group
of conspirators attempting to change the work of Shakespeare, for
instance the story about Shylock and the Pound of Flesh, was "just a
joke".
Now I have a friend that knows F. Lee Bailey at Naples Florida, if he is
still there. I am going to try to find out, if that guy is slipping.
Most stupid lawyers in the world were at OJ trial with one exception -
F. Lee Bailey, who did not lose sight of the truth of the matter, while
this Shapiro nearly booed out of Yankee Stadium, turned on his own
client.
********]
"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers" - it's a lawyer joke
Seth Finkelstein [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Few people are unfamiliar with the phrase The first thing we do, let's
kill all the lawyer. Rueful, mocking, it often expresses the ordinary
person's frustration with the arcana and complexity of law. Sometimes
it's known known that the saying comes from one of Shakespeare's plays,
but usually there's little awareness beyond that. This gap in knowledge
has inspired a myth of "correction", where it is "explained" that this
is line really intended as a praise of the lawyer's role.
For example, one legal firm states:
"The first thing we do," said the character in Shakespeare's Henry VI,
is "kill all the lawyers." Contrary to popular belief, the proposal was
not designed to restore sanity to commercial life. Rather, it was
intended to eliminate those who might stand in the way of a contemplated
revolution -- thus underscoring the important role that lawyers can play
in society.
(from Dickstein Shapiro Morin & Oshinsky LLP Firm Profile)
Or
As the famous remark by the plotter of treachery in Shakespeare's King
Henry VI shows - "The first thing we must do is kill all the lawyers," -
the surest way to chaos and tyranny even then was to remove the
guardians of independent thinking.
(from THINKING LIKE A LAWYER)
The argument of this remark as in fact being favorable to lawyers is a
marvel of sophistry, twisting of the meaning of words in unfamiliar
source, disregard of the evident intent of the original author and ad
hominem attack. Whoever first came up with this interpretation surely
must have been a lawyer.
The line is actually uttered by a character "Dick The Butcher". While
he's a killer as evil as his name implies, he often makes highly comedic
and amusing statements. The wisecracking villain is not an invention of
modern action movies, it dates back to Shakespeare and beyond.
The setup for the "kill the lawyers" statement is the ending portion of
a comedic relief part of a scene in Henry VI, part 2. Dick and another
henchman, Smith are members of the gang of Jack Cade, a pretender to the
throne. The built-up is long portion where Cade make vain boasts, which
are cut down by sarcastic replies from the others. For example:
JACK CADE.
Valiant I am.
SMITH [aside].
'A must needs; for beggary is valiant.
JACK CADE.
I am able to endure much.
DICK [aside].
No question of that; for I have seen him whipp'd three market-days
together.
JACK CADE.
I fear neither sword nor fire.
SMITH [aside].
He need not fear the sword; for his coat is of proof.
DICK [aside].
But methinks he should stand in fear of fire, being burnt i' th'hand for
stealing of sheep.
You can almost hear the rim-shot after everything Dick or Smith say
here.
Cade proceeds to go more and more over the top, and begins to describe
his absurd ideal world:
JACK CADE.
Be brave, then; for your captain is brave, and vows reformation. There
shall be in England seven half-penny loaves sold for a penny: the
three-hoop'd pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to
drink small beer: all the realm shall be in common; and in Cheapside
shall my palfrey go to grass: and when I am king,- as king I will be,-
ALL.
God save your majesty!
Appreciated and encouraged, he continues on in this vein:
JACK CADE.
I thank you, good people:- there shall be no money; all shall eat and
drink on my score; and I will apparel them all in one livery, that they
may agree like brothers, and worship me their lord.
And here is where Dick speaks the famous line.
DICK.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
The audience must have doubled over in laughter at this. Far from
"eliminating those who might stand in the way of a contemplated
revolution" or portraying lawyers as "guardians of independent
thinking", it's offered as the best feature imagined of yet for utopia.
It's hilarious. A very rough and simplistic modern translation would be
"When I'm the King, there'll be two cars in every garage, and a chicken
in every pot" "AND NO LAWYERS". It's a clearly lawyer-bashing joke. This
is further supported by the dialogue just afterwards (which is actually
quite funny even now, and must have been hilarious when the idiom was
contemporary):
DICK.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
JACK CADE.
Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that of the skin
of an innocent lamb should be made parchment? that parchment, being
scribbled o'er, should undo a man? Some say the bee stings: but I say,
'tis the bee's wax; for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never
mine own man since.- How now! who's there?
He might just as well have been describing "shrink-wrap" software
licensing agreements today in the last sentence. To understand what Cade
is saying here, you have to know that documents of the time were likely
parchment, and sealed with wax. So when he says "Some say the bees
stings; but I say, 'tis the bee's wax". he's making an ironic comment
somewhat akin to "Some men rob you with a six-gun, and some with a
fountain pen". And the fact that he himself is an evil man only serves
to heighten the irony, not discredit the sentiment - the more evil he
is, the more the contrast is apparent.
It makes as much sense to conclude that since the "kill the lawyers"
joke is expressed by villains, who later commit murderous deeds "there
shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score" is an approval
of Libertarian thought, and a warning about Communists.
Now, just after this exchange, the scene changes tone. The gang commits
the murder of the clerk of chatham. Here is the second level of
Shakespeare's commentary on law and layers, where the murder is carried
out according to scrupulous procedure, a parody of law:
JACK CADE.
I am sorry for't: the man is a proper man, of mine honour; unless I find
him guilty, he shall not die.- Come hither, sirrah, I must examine thee:
what is thy name?
By this contrast Shakespeare thus makes in an alternating, connected,
comedic and tragic manner the age-old point about the difference between
*law* (and those who argue it) and *justice*. Cade makes up his
"version" of law to his own ends, to the justification of his evil
deeds, which is reminiscent of the context which commonly provokes "kill
the lawyers" (where the phrase is in wry protest of actions thought to
be the same in form, if not in degree). Far from being "out of context"
the usage is more true to the original than most people know.
Now, compares this to the description given by the web page Lawyers are
Our Friends!
Cade's friend Dick the Butcher, being only barely smarter than Cade,
knew Cade's scheme could not succeed if the learned advisors to the real
King actually investigated Cade's lineage. So, Dick the Butcher advised
Cade that "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers," hoping
that this tactic would prevent Cade from being discovered as an
imposter. At least in Shakespeare's time, lawyers were regarded as the
protectors of truth.
That lawyer is being a protector of some sort, but it doesn't seem to be
of the truth!
In fact, Shakespeare used lawyers as figures of derision on several
occasions. In "Romeo and Juliet", Mercutio uses the line "O'er lawyers'
fingers, who straight dream on fees;" In "King Lear", the fool defends a
speech in riddles by comparing it to an "unfee'd lawyer":
EARL OF KENT.
This is nothing, fool.
FOOL.
Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer,- you gave me nothing
for't.- Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle?
There's a very long and lawyer-uncomplimentary passage in Hamlet. Note
the similarity of the "parchment" joke to that seen in Henry VI, part 2.
HAMLET.
There's another: why may not that be the skull of a lawyer? Where be his
quiddits now, his quillets, his cases, his tenures, and his tricks? why
does he suffer this rude knave now to knock him about the sconce with a
dirty shovel, and will not tell him of his action of battery? Hum! This
fellow might be in's time a great buyer of land, with his statutes, his
recognizances, his fines, his double vouchers, his recoveries: is this
the fine of his fines, and the recovery of his recoveries, to have his
fine pate full of fine dirt? will his vouchers vouch him no more of his
purchases, and double ones too, than the length and breadth of a pair of
indentures? The very conveyances of his lands will hardly lie in this
box; and must the inheritor himself have no more, ha?
HORATIO.
Not a jot more, my lord.
HAMLET.
Is not parchment made of sheep-skins?
HORATIO.
Ay, my lord, and of calf-skins too.
HAMLET.
They are sheep and calves which seek out assurance in that. I will speak
to this fellow.- Whose grave's this, sirrah?
As long as there are lawyer, there will be "lawyer jokes". And lawyers
will show how those jokes ring true by trying to explain how such
lampooning really constitutes praise for their profession, thus by
example justifying the jokes more than ever.
Seth Finkelstein is a software developer and Internet activist.
A. Saba
Dare To Call It Conspiracy
A. Saba
Dare To Call It Conspiracy
http://www.spectacle.org/797/finkel.html
