Oh wow...I just realized that Bigfoot is in fact my long-lost Great-Uncle Harry,
who disappeared in 1946 after a record-setting binge in Fargo, ND, in the course
of which he personally demolished fifteen bars, three Ford pickup trucks, and
two sheriff's deputies, and consumed the town's entire stock of alcohol, whether
consumable or not. Uncle Harry never cut his hair--not on principle or
anything, he was just lazy--and brushed his teeth only on Saint Swithin's Day in
alternate leap years, which when combined with his invariable custom of bathing
only on those rare occasions when someone got close enough to him to throw him
into a handy river or lake, meant that the family held him at the length of all
our arms put together. What PROVES that Bigfoot is in fact Uncle Harry is this:
Uncle Harry wore size 32 1/2 shoes, which were broken down at the heel and
broken out at the toe thanks to his approach to nail-clipping, which was
basically don't do it. I would attach a photograph of Uncle Harry to this
message to prove my contention, but unfortunately the only photo of him in the
family album disintegrated several years ago when Great-Aunt Mehitable exposed
it to hydrofluoric acid under the mistaken impression that she was shellacking
it...
(Well, it makes as much sense as any OTHER theory of Bigfoot...)
----- Original Message -----
From: "(Conspiracy Theory Research List)" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Monday, August 14, 2000 11:18 AM
Subject: Re: [CTRL] researcher suggests elusive Bigfoot is an android
> It's actually an out-of-work woukie waiting for the next Star Wars film.
>
<A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/">www.ctrl.org</A>
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