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http://www.liberzine.com/jerrybrito/000815govkids.htm
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August 15, 2000
The Ministry of Information for Kids!
by Jerry Brito
Last Month, Colorado resident Caitlin Rezac displayed an utter disregard for
her community's health and safety. Boulder County health officials shut down
her illegal business because her establishment had neither a $110 health
license nor a sink. Nicknamed "Soda Girl," and wearing an apron displaying that
name, 11-year-old Rezac had the temerity to open a curbside lemonade stand.
Luckily, her father has since paid for the health license and a local sink
manufacturer made her the present of a portable garden hose sink.
Last week, similar trouble arose when 9-year-old Rachel Caine of Eustius,
Florida also had to be shut down by local authorities after years of selling
lemonade across the street from her house. After her father got involved, city
officials did not press the matter, but issued a new regulation that makes
Caine measure eight feet from the curb before she sets up her stand. Her 11-
year-old brother's lawn mowing business may also come under investigation.
These outlaw kids could easily have avoided getting into trouble, if only they
had visited some of the fun and friendly Web sites the government has set up
just for kids. One of these, www.tax.gov/kids, has exciting step-by-step guides
for starting your own business, including lawn mowing services and lemonade
stands.
The site is part of the federal government's Simplified Tax and Wage Reporting
System Web site that makes it "easier" for businesses to pay all their taxes in
one place. The "STAWRS Kids" section is colorful and fun. Clicking on "Start
Your Own Business" lets you choose what kind of enterprise you're interested
in.
Choosing "Lemonade Stand" brings pictures of happy kids making lemonade,
selling it, making a profit, and hiring some extra help. Then the fun begins!
"Wonderful!" the site announces, "now you have an employee and you need to ask
the IRS for an Employee Identification Number (EIN)." It then goes to show you
neat rows of the colorful and fun-filled forms you will have to fill out,
including the SS-4, the 941, the W-3, the ever-popular 4070, and many more!
"Great Job! You filed correctly," the site congratulates, "now here's where the
money goes." A list of the "Benefits of Paying Taxes" pops up which reads:
"Support public schools and playgrounds, they pave interstate highways, make
sure poor families can still get food, they fund the military, and lots more!"
It's the "lots more" that's especially exciting!
In case you forget, a "Why do we pay taxes?" section is always available at
www.tax.gov/kids/taxes.htm. Playgrounds are mentioned again, and "help farmers
maintain their crops and land" is also listed. Who wouldn't want to pay taxes?!
After kids learn how wonderful taxes are at the tax.gov site, they can choose
other cool government sites to visit. "Social Security Kids Stuff" at
www.ssa.gov/kids is always a favorite.
There, a series of fables with morals teach valuable lessons. The story of the
turtle and the rabbit teach us that "Slow but sure wins the race! With Social
Security everybody wins!" It no use explaining to kids that the adage "slow but
sure" pertains to savings and not pyramid schemes, and that some, like African-
American males, don't necessarily win with Social Security.
"I am a lion," another Social Security fable goes, "When I used to chase the
cows, I couldn't get them because they stuck together. I was able to get them
one by one after they fought and separated." The moral of the story, the site
states, is "United we stand, divided we fall: Social Security protects
everyone." It's never too early to instill nationalist fervor into little ones!
But clicking on "Stork" tells the most important story of all. "I am a Social
Security Card. I am red, white, and blue. You should have a card with you own
special number, which will be the same number for life. Your parents could have
got you a card when you were born. Ask you parents if they got you a card… if
you do not have a card, have your parents apply for one for you."
How could anyone be caught without their own special number? It's so thoughtful
of the federal government that it has kids remind forgetful moms and dads to
get them their card. Some day, your own special bar code may be tattooed on
your forearm!
Hopefully Caitlin and Rachel can take advantage of this free education from the
government. It's colorful and fun and saves parents the trouble of explaining
to their kids what they know about taxes and Social Security. Many other
federal kids sites are available, including the "Justice Department for Kids,"
which teaches youngsters how "Hateful Acts Hurt Kids."
With government kids sites everybody wins! --30--
Jerry Brito is creator and editor of Liberzine.com.
End<{{
A<>E<>R
Integrity has no need of rules. -Albert Camus (1913-1960)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking
new landscapes but in having new eyes. -Marcel Proust
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The libertarian therefore considers one of his prime educational
tasks is to spread the demystification and desanctification of the
State among its hapless subjects. His task is to demonstrate
repeatedly and in depth that not only the emperor but even the
"democratic" State has no clothes; that all governments subsist
by exploitive rule over the public; and that such rule is the reverse
of objective necessity. He strives to show that the existence of
taxation and the State necessarily sets up a class division between
the exploiting rulers and the exploited ruled. He seeks to show that
the task of the court intellectuals who have always supported the State
has ever been to weave mystification in order to induce the public to
accept State rule and that these intellectuals obtain, in return, a
share in the power and pelf extracted by the rulers from their deluded
subjects.
[[For a New Liberty: The Libertarian Manifesto, Murray N. Rothbard,
Fox & Wilkes, 1973, 1978, p. 25]]
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